Secrets of my Heart
by Mikigotagun
Summary: While on a mission Kanda comes across a young woman named Reannion Ashor and realizes she has a unique innocence. After tragedy befalls her town he decides to take her to the order and train her. But there is one thing that might hinder that, Reannion is blind. He also finds that he is falling for this blonde haired, blue eyed beauty.
1. Chapter 1

Secrets of my heart

Reannion Ashor was a teenager and at eighteen she had the normal teenage girls duties and that was helping her mother and father out in the store they ran in a small town. Rea was what they called her for short was a beautiful blonde with big blue eyes and all the boys in town thought she was the most gorgeous girl they had ever seen. She was sweet and kind and never had anything bad to say about anyone. Reannion had busied herself one day with doing the stock for the store. As she scribbled down what they needed she began to feel a pain in her head, this had been happening more frequently lately. But her fear wasn't the headaches it was her being able to see in her dreams, because Reannion was blind, she was born blind. She had learned to get around very well and function as any normal girl would without her disability, her writing skills and drawing skills even amazed her own parents. As she sat in her parents store she tried putting aside the dreams and not thinking about them but for the past week they had happened almost every night and she didn't know how much longer she could keep it hidden from her parents.

Her sweet and kind disposition was already changing to her being sad most of the time and very irritable. She tried her hardest to keep her good outlook on life but it was when the dreams started the night before she knew something was seriously wrong. The dreams seemed almost real to her but they were more like nightmares of strange creatures attacking her town and destroying it. But there was also something else in her dreams and that was a man. What really pissed her off about the dream was she couldn't see his face, all she knew was he wore a black outfit with a cloak draped around him and he had a sword. It was a very powerful sword from what she remembered of the dream and he used it to fight these creatures. The only thing that stuck clear in her mind was his long black hair that he wore in a ponytail with two strands that hung on each side of his face other than that she remembered nothing about his face.

This man began to haunt her thoughts to where she almost obsessed about what he looked like. She would sit and draw out his picture but the problem was the face was always blank. Sitting there with a picture she had just drawn she sighed and crumpled the paper up and put it to the side '_Why? Why don't I ever see your face?'_ She thought dropping her face in her hands and the pouting looked that crossed her face caught her mother's attention "Still fantasizing over that boy in your dreams are you?" Rea slightly smiled at her mother and sighed "He's real I know he is? My dreams are too real for him not to be." Her mother sat down the box she was holding and walked over to her daughter and knelt beside her "Well if they are that real then he must be also." Rea loved her mother deeply, her mother was the only one that truly believed she was actually seeing things in her dreams. Although her mother was more concerned about what Rea had told her about being able to see in her dreams then she was about this mysterious boy.

Kanda had been on a mission searching for some innocence that was detected in a small town. He was sent to find it and bring it back by Komui although Komui hadn't given him much details about it Kanda figured it was just a normal mission. Sitting by the road taking a rest he figured he'd make it to the town in a day or two so he decided to rest some and start again tomorrow when it got light. He sat against a tree slowly closing his eyes. He liked the silence of the space around him and as he sat there he realized it was more silent than usual, not even a bird was chirping and he thought that quite odd as he lazily opened one eye and looked around. There was a strange feeling that came over him for an instance but then he shook it off thinking maybe it was just the strange place he was in. As he closed his eye he must have dozed off.

Reannion was in the middle of one of her nightmares as the creatures in her dream began to demolish her town. She began to get frightened in her dream she was running for her life from this strange creature. Her thoughts were of the man that usually appeared but where was he? She stopped and looked around but he was nowhere to be found. She screamed out as she began to run again only to be surrounded by these creatures and as they began to come near her she screamed out for the man to help her and right before her eyes he appeared, his cloak blowing in the wind and he began fighting the creatures. She watched in amazement as he fought and killed every one of them. When he was finished he walked over to her and knelt down next to her putting his hand out "Oi are you alright?" He asked and she realized this was the first time he had ever talked in her dream as she looked up at him but still she could not see his face as she nodded "Yes."

As Kanda slept sweat began to form up on his forehead as he saw in his dreams a young woman running from akuma as her town was attacked. He went into action fighting the ones farthest away from her till she screamed out and he found himself transported right in front of her facing the akuma that had surrounded her. He sprang into action activating his innocence and defeated them but he still didn't understand how he ended up in front of her when he was across town. As he knelt down in front of her he asked if she was okay and she answered him then all of a sudden he startled himself awake, jumping to his feet he unsheathed Mugen and stood there looking around breathing heavily. Realizing it must have just been a dream he re-sheathed his katana and stood there staring into the blackness of the night _'It seemed so real'_ shaking his head in disbelief '_What is this strange sensation?' _He thought ashis body tingled all over and he felt as if his strength had been used as if he had been in a fight. Reaching up to his forehead he wiped the sweat that had formed on it "Kusssso" he whispered in disbelief that sweat had actually appeared on his forehead while he was sleeping.

Reannion was shaken awake by her mother "Your dreaming again Rea" Reannion's eyes widened "He talked to me this time mother." She said as she remembered the boy asking if she was alright. Her mother slightly smiled "He did huh?" Reannion began to explain her dream to her mother and she had screamed out and the man appeared right in front of her to save her, then he asked if she was alright. Her face saddened "But I didn't see his face." Her mother slightly grinned "Well I'm sure that one day you'll be able to see his face." Pushing her daughter slightly back into bed she covered her and kissed her forehead "Now get some sleep." As Rea rolled over hearing her mother shut the door she wondered if her mother was right? Would she ever see this mysterious man's face?

Kanda had awoke that morning still a little disturbed about last night's events. He decided to walk into town to get a jump on his traveling to find the innocence. He stretched his back out and took his cloak and draped it around him while strapping Mugen to his waist after sleeping with the katana on his lap all night. He began to walk down the road and as he got a little further he saw a small town. It wasn't the town he needed to be at but he figured that one was a few more miles but he could stop here for something to eat. Looking around he noticed a little café so he went inside and ordered some soba noodles which weren't exactly to his liking but he ate a little anyway _'God I miss Jerry's cooking'_ He thought nearly choking down the noodles as he gazed out the window and saw a little general store across the street. He needed some supplies if he was going to be on the road for a while so he decided to go pick some up. After gagging the noodles down and paying for them, he gave the cook a brilliant Kanda insult as he stormed out the door mumbling under his breath about wanting to eat something raw to get the awful taste out of his mouth he headed for the store.

Reannion had climbed the ladder next to the door to feel for some supplies on a shelf to see if they needed to order more. She was stretched to the point if she stretched anymore she would fall. As she reached around she tried to balance herself a little better on the ladder by moving her foot slightly but when she did she missed the step and began to fall as her mother screamed her name. Just as Kanda opened the door to the shop he saw the girl falling and caught her in his arms. "I'm sorry" she said quickly as he stared down at her "Oi you need to be more careful" '_That voice!' _she thought _'It seems so familiar'_ her eyes then widened and a smile slightly crossed her face as she reached her hands up and began touching his face. He gave her a puzzling look and began to move his face away because he didn't like anyone touching him especially his face when her mother came running over "That's the way she sees your face. By touch because she's blind." His eyes widened some in surprise as he let her run her hands over his face then they went up to the top of his head where she felt his ponytail then back down to the sides of his face where she felt the strands along the side of his face. She got the most excited look on her face "Oh my god it is you." Putting her on her feet he just turned his head wondering who the hell she thought he was till he finally looked at her face and realized she was the girl he had dreamed about last night. His eyes widened as he stared at her "Who do you think I am?" He asked as she smiled brightly "You the man from my dreams. The one that saves me from those wicked ugly creatures." Now he was confused just how the hell this girl was able to dream about him let alone he had dreamed about her also. He figured something wasn't right here as he sternly asked the girl "How long have you been blind?" She walked to the counter and then used her hands to hold onto it while she walked over and found a chair "Since birth." He sighed "I see" Then he walked over and waved his hand in front of her face to make sure she really couldn't see him "How long have you been able to see me in your dreams?" placing her hands on her lap she looked up at him and smiled "For only a week now. But this only started just recently. Before that I never had any dreams like this." Looking at the girl's mother Kanda raised a brow "May I talk to her." The mother nodded as he grabbed a chair and pulled it over and sat down "These dreams you have do they have demon creatures in them that are coming after you?" She smiled excitedly that he knew of her dreams "YES!" Putting his hand to his chin he tried to figure out how he ended up in her dream the night before. He had been having strange dreams the past week but he never remembered them until last night. Raising his head he stared at her "Tell me girl did you have one last night where you screamed out for me and I appeared in front of you?" Putting her hands out she cupped his "Yes" His hands slightly jerked from the human contact which he wasn't accustom to and she semi frowned "What's the matter?" Then she smiled slightly "What's your name?" She asked sweetly as he scowled thinking he was only going to use one name "Kanda" He said sternly as she said it again out loud then she smiled slightly "It seems your my savior Kanda" He pulled his hands away and scowled again "I'm no one's savior girl. I'm an exorcist I kill akuma and search for innocence that has been scattered all over the world." He saw the saddened look cross her face as he said that and he sighed "I'm sorry but I have a feeling there is innocence involved with what's going on with you." She got a confused look on her face as she stared ahead into the black abyss that she had grown to know all her life "Innocence? What is that?" Kanda explained to the girl and her mother about the different types of innocence and that some people are just born with it. He thought that was what had happened here. The girl was born with innocence and it had blinded her when she was born. Her mother gave Kanda a puzzled look as she turned to him "Would that be the reason she is able to see in her dreams?" His eyes widened "You can see in your dreams?" The girl nodded "Yes I saw you but the only thing was I couldn't make out your face." Standing up Kanda walked to the counter and he figured she was an accommodator that was born with this power "This is most peculiar I have never heard of innocence doing that." He figured this was a strange type of innocence and as an exorcist it was his job to seek out new innocence accommodators and bring then to the Black Order. Would it be wise to leave now or should he observe the girl for a while? He made his mind up he needed to stay and observe her for a while. So after calling Komui and him agreeing that would be best due to the fact they had never heard of an accommodator being able to pull someone into their dreams. Kanda then asked the girl's mother if there was an inn he could stay at but she told him they had a spare room and he agreed to stay there to be closer to the girl to watch her. He would observe her all day then see what happened that night after she fell asleep.

As the mother led him up the stairs he turned back to look at Reannion and he watched her as she moved around with such ease provided she was blind. There was only one other person he knew that was blind and that was Marie. He figured if he got the girl to the Order Marie could help her establish her skills as a blind exorcist. Kanda figured the innocence had laid dormant all her life until now when it finally decided to awaken and he wondered what had made it awaken now.


	2. Chapter 2

Secrets of my heart chap 2

Reannion's mother led Kanda to a room at the end of the hall and as she reached for the door she turned to him "Rea uses this room to store her drawings. But you should be comfortable in here." She opened the door and stepped aside as Kanda entered and he turned to her "This will be fine thank you." She nodded and shut the door as he turned and sat his bag down. Walking around he noticed the many drawings on the wall, some were of beautiful meadows, trees with birds in them and then he saw the ones with a man that looked exactly like him but with no face. As he scanned the many drawings he realized most of them had him in a battle stance except one. It was just a close up of him with no face again leaning into what he thought was someone's face and he realized she must have drawn this from the dream the night before where he asked her if she was okay. Her drawings were beautiful he thought as he came upon one that was a garden with flowers and sand around it. He searched the garden and every different flower in it and saw the detail and time she had put into it. _'She must see this in her head. But how would she know what the flowers looked like? Unless she can truly see in her dreams.' _He thought as he turned and looked out the window. If this girl truly had the power to pull people into her dreams she would be the most extraordinary find in accommodator history.

He decided he would go and observe her while she worked so he took his cloak off and opened the door and headed downstairs. As he descended the stairs he saw her making her way around the store as if she could see. If he didn't know she was blind he would have never guessed it watching her work. Stopping at the doorway he thought he would test her other senses as he leaned up against the door frame and crossed his arms. As Rea moved around the room she got the distinct feeling someone was watching her as she turned and stared in the direction of the doorway "Kanda you can talk to me you know?" He sighed and then grinned slightly at her knowing he was there. That meant her other senses were keen and he liked that idea "Hai I could but I wanted to observe you and see if you knew I was here." She turned and made her way to him and stood in front of him as she raised her hands to his face again and began feeling it "I wish I could see you." Kanda reached up and took her hands in his then dropped them at her sides. He really didn't like to be touched "You pretty much know what I look like girl." His cold demeanor made her step back some. She never figured his attitude would be so cold. Her father came in at that moment and seeing the scene in front of him of his daughter standing in front of a strange man he cleared his throat "Rea who is this?" Rea began to explain who Kanda was and what he did then her father raised a brow at Kanda and Kanda just turned his head "Che." His wife then entered and began to explain that Kanda thought innocence had something to do with why Rea had been having bad dreams. Her father never believed there was anything wrong with his daughter except she was having nothing but bad dreams. He then glared at Kanda "Innocence huh? So that's what you're looking for? Well my daughter is the most innocent and she better still be when you leave." That was something that set Kanda off _'How dare he think I would do anything to her and in that way'_ He thought as he pulled Mugen from his sheathe and put it to her father's neck as his eyes widened "I am not like that. I am here only to observe her and see if innocence is involved. For you even thinking that way I should just kill you now." Rea's eyes widened at the tone in Kanda's voice as she reached out and felt Mugen and she ran her hand up to the tip where it met her father's neck "Kanda please don't hurt him." She pleaded as Kanda glared at her father then he looked into Rea's eyes and the pleading in them made him pull Mugen back as he sheathed the katana and stared at her father "If the girl has innocence it is my job to protect her till I can get her back to the Order." Rea's father went ballistic at that point "You're not taking her anywhere!" He said angrily as he lunged at Kanda but Kanda's hand came up and grabbed his throat and pushed him to the wall as Kanda glared at him and through gritted teeth he explained "If she has innocence and is not trained properly she could become a Fallen One and that's much worse than being an exorcist because then I would have to kill her." He leaned in closer to the man's face "Would you sacrifice her life just to keep her here?" Rea wrapped her arms around Kanda and sobbed into his back "Please….please he doesn't understand. Don't hurt him." Kanda's eyes widened as he looked down to the arms interlocked around his chest and he immediately dropped his hand from her father's throat "You can let go of me now girl I am finished." He stated firmly as she just kept holding on to him and through her sobs she spoke and he froze in the spot he was standing in "All my life I have wanted to see something in these dark eyes of mine. Anything….. Anyone…. then by some miraculous miracle last week you appeared in my dreams. I know there is a reason why you appeared Kanda and I will do as you ask. But please don't hurt my father." Her plead reached his ears as he nodded and sighed "Che" then he glared at her father "I will not hurt him if he doesn't refer to me as a pervert again." Her father slide down the wall holding his throat as he wheezed out "You will protect my daughter?" Kanda stood there with Rea still holding on to him and he sighed "Hai, But I need to find out if it is innocence that is actually awaking in her." Standing up her father nodded to him as he looked at his daughter holding onto this dark haired stranger like she already knew him and Kanda reached up and took her hands away from his chest and dropped them to his side Rea realized she had gotten too close to him again and as she backed up her foot hit the side of a crate and she began to fall backwards. Kanda without even looking reached back and caught her wrist in his hand and stopped her then he spun around and pulled her towards him and she came to rest with her head on his chest as her father watched and then he knew this man wouldn't let her be hurt. He looked down at the top of her head then reached up placing his hands on her shoulders and pushed her back away from him "We must first hone you're surrounding skills. Yours are good but they have to be better." She nodded her head and turned to walk off trying to pay special attention to her surroundings.

Her mother looked at Kanda questionably "You can actually teach her to know her surroundings better." Kanda nodded watching Rea walk away "Hai I have a friend named Marie he's also blind but his hearing is impeccable and he's a great exorcist." Smiling her mother nodded as she watched her daughter go back to work. Kanda sat and watched Rea for the rest of the day paying special attention to how the girl moved and used her other senses. He was sure that there was something that could be done for her if she had this innocence and he knew he would have his work cut out for him if he took her back to the Order. She was raw around the edges but she had coped with this blindness from birth. He just wondered if she had ever been out into the world to really experience the sounds.

Later that night as Kanda lay in bed he tried to figure out what he would do with her while he went to take care of this other mission. He figured leaving her here was best and he would pick her up on his way back. Closing his eyes he drifted off to sleep but was later transported into her dream again. He found himself in the town walking along the street in the darkness. There was just a faint light coming from the store he was sleeping in the second floor of. He sighed as he walked towards the door and put his hand on the knob opening it slowly and looking in. There was a candle lite on the counter as he walked in and shut the door and then he turned his head looking around. Just then Rea appeared in the doorway as she stared at him for a moment then slightly smiled "I can see your face Kanda." He walked over to her and she looked up at him but in her eyes he saw a glow of blue and then he knew for sure she had innocence inside her as he exhaled heavily. As she stared at him her face softened "You are the most beautiful man I have ever seen." He just stared at her because no one had ever said that to him and staring at his glowing white like porcelain skin and then his dark eyes that stared back at her. She walked closer to him she reached her hands up "May I?" He looked at her hands and nodded as she placed them on his face and closed her eyes feeling every inch of his face. Her hands were warm as he closed his eyes and let her touch his face, that was something he never did and then out of the blue she reached up and took the tie holding his hair up and pulled it letting his hair fall and cascade across his shoulders. When she opened her eyes her breath hitched in her throat at the pure gorgeousness of the man in front of her as breeze slightly blew is hair away from his face some as she gazed upon him. Kanda just stood there in wonder himself, he wondered why he was letting her do this? If it would have been anyone else he would have bit their head off by now. But he knew he was probably the first person she had ever saw and in the candle light she was quite exquisite looking. As she leaned closer to him and studied his flawless skin he stood staring straight ahead mesmerized by the touch of her hand on his cheek. She finally shook her head "I-I'm sorry but you're the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen." She then leaned back away from his face "Well you're the only person I have ever seen. But you are truly beautiful Kanda." He smirked at her as she walked over and sat at the small table in the middle of the room "Please come sit with me so we can talk face to face while I can see you."

Walking over he sat at the table and stared at her "Do you think this is a good way to use your power girl?" She then smiled shyly "I do have a name Kanda its Reannion remember? But you can call me Rea like everyone else." Looking around he saw the quaint setup that she had created for them in her mind to talk in so putting his arms on the table he interlocked his fingers of his hand and rested his chin on them as he stared at her from across the table. She began to get a little nervous because his eyes were actually scary once they were focused on you. Like he could almost read your inner most thoughts then he spoke softly "Gir-Rea you have innocence inside of you. I can see it right now in your eyes." Closing her eyes she breathed in heavily as she then opened them staring back into his "Can you help me Kanda? I don't want to see these terrible things anymore." Kanda sighed as he began to explain to her that these things won't go away and there are truly real. He explained what akuma are and that soon after they sensed her innocence they would come for her. She stood up quickly knocking her chair over "NO! I don't want to see them their horrible creatures." She began to sob uncontrollably and Kanda didn't know what to do so he stood up and walked over to her knowing she was scared and he took her by the fore arms and pulled her towards him as he told her sternly "I will not let anything happen to you." She stared up at his face and she knew that under that rough cold exterior there had to be a heart in there somewhere. So she nodded her head at him and then she began to get lightheaded "I-I'm sorry Kanda but we have to call this meeting to an end. I can't do this for very long because my energy goes to fast." Kanda just nodded to her "Go then and sleep." He let her go a she walked back to the door and stopped turning towards him again "You truly are a beautiful man Kanda. I just wanted to see you face so I know what you look like." As she left Kanda felt himself being pulled back to his body and he awoke with a startle sitting straight up in bed. Shaking his head he then realized his hair was down and when he went to bed it was up in a ponytail _'So real. It's scary how she does this.' _He thought as he moved the covers back and stood up walking to the door. He opened the door and walked to her room and opened her door slightly as he looked in at her sleeping. She had a slight smile on her face as she slept peacefully and he stood there for a moment just looking at her. She then heard her door close as she whispered "Goodnight Kanda" because she could tell it was him at her door. Her other senses were already honing in on his actions. His standing at the door not coming in told her it wasn't her mother or father but someone just checking on her. She didn't know how but she had connected to this man in her dreams and now that she saw him she couldn't get him out of her thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Secrets of my heart chap.3

Kanda woke the next morning and sat up in bed, he felt as if he had found someone truly amazing as he thought back to last night when they talked in her dream. He just didn't understand why she called him a beautiful man. As far as he knew everyone thought he was cold, unfeeling, hot headed, stubborn and just a plain asshole but for some reason she didn't see him that way. He chuckled as he stood up '_Just wait till she gets to know me she won't be thinking that very long'_ thinking that he walked over to the wash basin and poured some water in the bowl. Reaching his hands into it he leaned down and splashed some on his face which immediately woke him up more due to it being cold. Reaching over he grabbed a towel and began to wipe his face off when there was a knock at the door "HAI" He said as he heard Rea on the other side "Are you awake Kanda? Can I come in?" Kanda walked to the door and opened it staring slightly down at her as she smiled "Breakfast is almost ready and mother wanted me to tell you." He then held the towel down to his side "Thank you Rea but I think I might be-"he stopped in mid-sentence as her hands went to his face and she slightly frowned "Do you always wear that scowl?" pushing the corners of his mouth up she smiled slightly "You would look much better with a smile on your face." Thinking back to the countless times he tried to smile showing his teeth and people told him that it was more a creepy smile he really hadn't thought about smiling widely lately. Her hands then went to the top of his head where she slide them down his hair and found it was down "You look better with your hair down too." He turned his head "Che" he scoffed reaching up and taking her hands in his then dropping then to her side "I would be unwise to fight with my hair down, It would get in the way." He was getting a little uncomfortable with this touch thing she had going on with him. So he turned and said over his shoulder "Tell your mother I will be down soon." Then he slowly shut the door leaving her standing there wondering what she had done for him to shut the door in her face. She then figured maybe he was like this all the time. Yes '_He will be a hard person to get to know' _she thought turning and walking towards the stairs as she descended them to go to the kitchen.

Kanda just sighed as he leaned against the door. He didn't know why he was letting this girl get to him? Was it because she was blind? He knew he had to take control over the situation but every time he tried she'd grab his face and he'd lose his concentration on what he was saying. But what Kanda didn't know was there was more trouble looming then he thought. It seemed there was a group of degenerate boys in town and the leader of this ominous pack of hoodlums had his eye on Rea for a while now. Even though she had shot him down he had it in his head that they were destined to be together, one way or the other. He wasn't past the point of taking her by force and it was on that very day that Kanda would learn just how far his cold demeanor for someone else's life went when it came to protecting innocence, a girls and her power.

Rea was walking down the street while Kanda sat quietly in his room after breakfast trying to figure out the best plan of picking her up on the way back. He had gotten up and was packing his stuff. Rea had been sent to the post office by her father to pick up a package that was there for him. On her way back she took her normal route and she was enjoying the fresh air as everyone who saw her said hello to her. Jack and his group of degenerates were crossing the street when he saw her walking towards them and he smiled a devious smile _'Today is the day you will become mine'_ He thought as he hit one of his friends on the shoulder and pointed towards her. All the boys in his little group didn't know what he had in mind for Rea at this point but by the time it was almost finished some of them would regret their decision to follow him. He slowly walked forward and purposely bumped into her grabbing the package from her as she fell to the ground "Oooh I am so sorry Rea I didn't even see you walking there my lovely." Handing the package to his good friend he put his hand out "May I help you up?" He said reaching his hand out to her and she realized this wasn't a good position to be in but she would have to deal with this on her own. So she reached her hand up "Thank you Jack that would be lovely of you." Jack just smiled deviously as he turned to his friends and nodded to the barn door next to them. His friends grabbed the door and jerked it open as Jack grabbed her hand and jerked her to her feet throwing his hand over her mouth as her eyes widened in fear at what was to come next as he whispered "You will be mine no matter what!" in her ear. She then began to kick and scream but his hand over her mouth prevented anything from coming out as she was horrified in the blackness that only her eyes could see as she felt herself being drug into the barn. One good shove and she felt herself being thrown into some hay as she screamed but his hand was swiftly back over her mouth as he now lay on top of her as she began to cry. Some of his friends knew this wasn't right as they spoke up in protest only to be silenced by his faithful followers as they watched with creepy grins on their faces. Rea could only see the blackness that she was trapped in and she thought maybe he wouldn't hurt her but as she felt his hand moving down her side she knew this was going to be the most traumatic experience of her life as her whole body began to shake in fear. Jack's hand reached the edge of her dress as he yanked it up and lowering his head to her ear where his lips were so close she could feel his hot breath on it "It's going to be my pleasure to take you for the first time Rea." She whimpered as he pushed his hand under her dress "Don't cry you're going to like this." Just then she freed her mouth and one word escaped in a scream "KAAAANDAAAAA" Jack was surprised at what she had screamed he had never heard that even as a word so he turned and smiled to his comrades "See she likes it so much she's speaking a different language." Kanda was still packing his stuff but then a strange feeling came over him and he heard Rea screaming in his head as he stopped and grabbed his head because it was so loud. Running his hand down his face he placed it in front of him and noticed it was disappearing so he reached over and grabbed Mugen with the other hand as his whole body began to disappear _'What is this?' _He thought as his eyes widened and then he was in a barn looking around he heard struggling from the other side of a stall as he walked forward and saw what he thought was a retched act. His eyes widened when he realized that Rea had transported his whole body probably across town and unsheathing Mugen he pushed past Jacks little friends as he stepped over Rea and put Mugen to Jacks throat "Just what the FUCK do you think you're doing to her?" Jack stopped immediately what he was doing as he slowly looked up and saw the scariest face he had ever seen in his life. The cold dark eyes that stared at him now narrowed with hatred and killing in them and the scowl that crossed the face was enough to make him slightly wet himself some. Rea heard his voice and she grabbed onto his leg wrapping her arms around it as she softly said "Kanda is that you?" He glanced down and back at the frightened girl and took a deep breath seeing the state she was in. Her mouth bruised from Jack grabbing it so hard and her lip bleeding from where her lips were pressed against her teeth so hard "Hai it is me" He said turning back to Jack as Jack looked up eyes widened and in a shaky voice "T-T-This is K-Kanda?" Kanda's eyes switched back to Jack as he glared at him from above and he started to lift Mugen under the Jack's chin bringing him up off Rea with the sword blade. As Jack stood Kanda moved his leg as Rea let it go and he walked Jack to the wall and pushed him into it "Is this the way you treat someone who cannot see you to defend herself?" Jacks eyes widened as he just stood there wondering where the hell this man had come from. Kanda getting more annoyed as Rea cried dropped Mugen from Jack's throat replacing the sword with his hand as he squeezed Jack's wind pipe hard "I asked a question kuso yarou" Jack just stuttered for a moment "I-I…U-Uh…W-Who the hell are you?" he wheezed out as Kanda leaned into his face and gritted his teeth "I am your worst nightmare" he said as just then a breeze blew through the barn blowing Kanda's down hair all crazily around and Jack swallowed as best he could due to the death grip this man had on his neck. Kanda was done fucking around at this point as he took one look back at Rea and his blood boiled in his veins that a person could actually be so disrespectful to someone's personal space and innocence. His grip tightened on Jacks neck as Jack began to gag some and then he quit moving all together as Kanda then dropped him to the ground lifeless. Turning to the boy's friend's he grinned creepily "I suggest you take this as a lesson of human behavior. You are not animals and you shouldn't act as they do. This was a very inhumane act he tried and it cost him his life." Kanda then stood straight up and towered over the boys left standing there "I will tell you now anyone who screws with her will screw with me first." He then glared at them tilting his head upwards some with a crazy look in his eyes "GOT IT!" the boys were all to traumatized to answer after just seeing their friend get the life squeezed out of him and the all turned and ran. Kanda then turned his head to the side "Che" He knew now he would have to explain his actions to the local police and that would be something he had to call Komui for. But right now he walked over to Rea and knelt down next to her as she sobbed repeatedly. He sighed as he reached down and pulled her dress down then wrapping his arm around her shoulder and sliding the other under her legs he stood up with her as she threw her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. He stared straight ahead as he walked out of the barn carrying her only to be met by two policemen that Jack's friends went to get. "Hey you hold it" Kanda stopped and turned towards then and that's when they saw Rea as she turned towards their voices and they gasp some at her lip and mouth, Kanda stood tightening his grip on her some because he wasn't about to let go of her and she knew that as she felt his grip tighten. One cop stepped forward "These boys say that you killed their friend." The other one stepped forward as he looked at Rea "Rea what happened to you?" She had tears that weld up in her eyes "T-This man saved me from Jack and his friends as they t-tried to-"her voice trailed off because she couldn't say it but Kanda had no problem saying it "Before they raped her." Both cops turned to the boys behind them "Is this true?" The boys started stumbling over their words then one yelled "BUT THAT GAVE HIM NO RIGHT TO KILL JACK!" Kanda took a deep breath as he straightened his shoulders "I am an exorcist I have every right to defend innocence rather it be a power or a girls. To me they are both the same." He then glared at the cops standing there "I am here to protect this girl because she possesses a powerful innocence and these boys were trying to damage that innocence. It is my job to make sure that does not happen." He then turned to walk off "I will come to your station but first I must get her home to be tended to." Glaring back over his shoulder as he walked away "Make sure those boys are there too." The cops then turned to the boys "Well you heard him he'll come to the station" Then they glared at the boys for hurting Rea "Now you boys have to come with us." The boys began to protest as they were marched off to the station.

As Kanda walked down the street holding Rea she pushed her head under his chin and he couldn't understand the craziness in the world today that would lead boys to do such a hatful crime. He then found himself resting his chin upon the top of her head ever so softly and he felt something in his heart change at that moment. He felt the urge to protect her form this sort of violence and it would have to be something he and only he could teach her when they got to the Order.

Reaching the store Rea's parents ran he walked through the door holding her as Rea's mother turned and her eyes widened "Oh My God what happened?" Rea began to sob in Kanda's arms as her father entered the room and saw the bruises on his daughter's mouth. Kanda just walked straight past them into the living room behind the store and he bent down and sat her in a chair. Rea's mother grabbed a towel and wet it as she began to wipe her daughter's face. Kanda looked at her father and nodded for him to follow him to the other side of the room. When they stopped Kanda exhaled deeply "I'm afraid the innocence inside her is growing stronger. She transported my whole body across town because she was in danger." Her father's eyes widened "Transported you?" Kanda nodded "Hai, One minute I was up stairs and the next I disappeared to find myself in a barn where she was being attacked." Her father's eyes narrowed "Attacked? By who?" Kanda sighed as he turned to look at Rea "You don't have to worry about that he won't bother her again." Rea's father saw the cold stare in Kanda's eyes as he said what he said and he knew Kanda had done something to the boy so he didn't push the issue any farther. Kanda then turned to him "I have to go to the police station now and explain what happened. You will watch over her till I return." Her father nodded "Of course she's our daughter." Kanda turned and walked upstairs and went to his room, grabbing his cloak he put it on and walked back downstairs he then walked to the door but Rea sat forward in the chair "Kanda please don't leave me now." Kanda sighed as he walked over to her and knelt down beside the chair "Oi Rea I have to go for a little while but I'll be back" Then he smirked "If you need me for an emergency I'm sure you know what to do." He then stood up and walked out the door headed for the police station. As he walked to the station he thought _'Her power is growing fast.' _

Getting to the police station Kanda sighed as he stopped at the door. Looking around he figured that the boys who had been with the one who attacked Rea would be inside he tried to keep his composure. Walking up the steps he opened the door and went in and upon looking around he saw the boys sitting across the room in a cell. The police man waved him over but Kanda's death glare on the boys made the cop worry some as he pointed to the chair "Please sit down." Kanda just pointed to the golem with him "Do you have a phone?" The cop nodded as he pointed it out and Kanda picked it up and dialed as the golem connected him to Komui. He then handed the phone to the Police man as he sat motionless and unresponsive only staring at the boys in the cell. The police man was on the phone for about twenty minutes with Komui then he handed the phone to Kanda. Kanda noticed the man's hand shaking and his eyes were widened as he stared at the ever so calm samurai. Kanda just smirked as he put the phone to his ear "Komui what did you tell this man?" Komui laughed "Oh I just told him the truth. That the girl is very important and you had to protect her. I also informed him that if they got in your way again you'd probably destroy their town." He then laughed crazily as Kanda got annoyed with him "Why would you tell him that?" Komui then quit laughing and pushed his glasses up on his nose then he got really serious "If this girl is half as powerful as you say she is wouldn't you do anything to protect her?" Kanda turned his head to the side "Che" He knew Komui was right he would do anything to protect her. Komui then spoke again "I told them your mission is to bring the girl to the Black Order and unfortunately there are sometimes casualties of this war we fight against evil. The boy was an unfortunate accident." Kanda looked up and noticed both cops staring at him dumbfounded and he played the part of the psychopath exorcist very well as he glared at them and they shuddered in their shoes. Just then though Rea yelled for help in Kanda's head again and he dropped the phone and grabbed it "Ahhhhh Komui she's calling again." He said dropping to his knees hearing Komui on the phone yelling "KANDA! KANDA! ARE YOU OKAY!" Kanda looked up at the officers then held his hand out and it was happening again he was disappearing. He closed his eyes only to open them a few seconds later as he heard screaming all around him "GET SOME WATER QUICK THE STORE IS ON FIRE!" moving his head slightly up he saw Rea's parents store engulfed in fire then he noticed the akuma hovering above it as he pulled Mugen from the sheath "Mugen activate" Standing there he then ran towards the burning store yelling "SWORD OF SIX ILLUSION….EIGHT FLOWER PRAYING MANTIS!" as his attack went for the akuma Kanda ran into the burning building "REA!" He yelled then he made his way in farther "REA CAN YOU HEAR ME?" out of the smoke and flames he heard "Kanda help me!" he moved forward some "Keep talking Rea" She kept calling out for him and he finally found her sitting in the same chair he had placed her in but as he looked around he found both her parents were dead. Closing his eyes from the smoke he scooped her up and then opened his eyes and looked down at Rea "Can you get us out of here Rea? Concentrate on a safe place." He held her tightly as she closed her eyes and he felt his body disappearing again. A few moments later he opened them and they were in a meadow outside of town. He saw the smoke rising from the fire as he walked over and sat Rea on the ground. Taking a once over look at her "Are you hurt or burned?" He asked as she sniffed "No…..But my parents Kanda are they alright?" Kanda sighed then shook his head and softly said "I'm sorry Rea" The girls eyes changed as he watched the massive tears weld up in them and flow down her cheeks "I'm alone now. I-I have N-Nobody." Kanda reached out as his heart went out to her and pulled her into a protective hug "Oi you have me Rea I'm not going to leave you alone" He told her because it was true he had found her and now she was his responsibility. Burying her face in his chest she sobbed for a while as he just let her get it out not really saying a word. It was about thirty minutes later when he moved her back from his chest "Rea we have to get going. Can you walk or do you want me to carry you?" She didn't want to be a burden on him so she nodded "I can walk" she was worn out and in shock but she knew this man would not let anything happen to her and now she had to trust him. As he stood up he realized that the towns people would now figure she and he were dead since they didn't come out of the store after they saw him go in. She stood up and he went to put his arm around her to help her but she moved it and grabbed his elbow "Just walk me and I can follow you this way Kanda you don't have to embrace me" he thought that was perfect as he began to walk she kept up nicely by holding his elbow. Every once in a while he would look down at her face and it was always the same expression, sadness and defeat and he didn't like to see that on her face after knowing her before this happened. He figured she had a rough day, first the boys then her parents and now he was making her walk to the next town. '_What a complete heartless ass I_ _am'_ He thought to himself as he stopped and scooped her into his arms and as she protested "Oi girl be quiet you have had a hard day. Just relax while I get us to safety." As he walked she sat very still in his arms and then he looked down and she was sleeping he tightened his grip on her some as she snuggled more into his chest. He thought to himself '_How did this day go so wrong?_' it had started out like a normal day then it all went to shit. Now he was responsible for this girl and he had to take care of her until he taught her how to take care of herself against the world.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: First of all, I will try to separate my paragraphs into smaller ones more and I thank you for pointing that out. So please try to bear with me I usually do but sometimes I get to writing and I forget sorry about that.

Secondly, about the **almost** rape scene in the third chapter I am sorry if I offended anyone but I would like to point out I have been a victim of that violent crime 20 years ago. It was not meant to set anyone off but my story **does** have an **M** rating. It is a brutal and violent crime against another human being and thank god I survived mine. Yes I have bad memories but over time I have been able to deal with it enough to let some out in my writing which helps me. Maybe I'm just a twisted individual but it helps. (Outward expression of traumatic feelings is what my therapist calls it)

Thirdly, I do know Kanda is out of character but I would think that after everything this girl has been through he would have a little heart. He is also responsible for her right now. I'm sorry this is just the way I want to write him and show a different side of him. Thank you.

Secrets of my heart chap.4

Kanda walked about two miles carrying Rea when he realized it was getting dark. He found a meadow on the side of the road and he started a fire. The air was chilly when the sun went down so he wrapped his cloak around Rea and laid her on the ground. Walking over to a tree he sat and leaned himself up against it and thought about all the things that had completely went wrong today. He then started realizing that Rea's innocence was awaking faster than he had thought. Her being able to transport people was now something that was weighing heavy on his mind. He wondered just how far she could transport if she concentrated. She had transported them outside of the town from the fire and that was about a third of a mile.

He crossed his arms across his chest due to the cold and then Rea rolled over "Kanda are you cold?" He shrugged his shoulders "N-not really" But he had lied it was actually pretty cold and she raised up on her arms "I know your cold I can hear your teeth chattering." He scoffed turning his head "Che" and she smiled slightly as she got up and walked over to where he was and sat next to him. Pulling the cloak from around her she covered both of them "Here we can share." He didn't think this was a good idea at all because they were so close but it was cold and she needed to be kept warm as he sighed in defeat "Hai" he said softly as he stared straight ahead into the fire. He must have dozed off sometime in the night. The fire going out woke him and as he looked down Rea's face was against his chest and his arm was around her his eyes widened '_What the hell?' _He thought because he didn't remember putting it around her as she slightly stirred and he pushed her back some to go throw more wood on the fire.

It was then he felt her standing behind him "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable Kanda it's just I wanted to feel safe." He scrunched his face some as his eyes wondered around then he realized this girl had just lost everything and everybody she had ever knew. So he moved back from the fire and sat on the ground "Oi come here Rea." He said as she walked over and sat next to him. He then wrapped the cloak around both of them "Get some sleep no one will hurt you while I'm here." She softly smiled as she leaned against his chest and every muscle in his body tensed up at the fact he was touching another human being. She could hear his heart beating as he breathed in slowly and steadily. She wondered how he could stay focused all the time as she closed her eyes listening to his heart beat it was beating strong and hard and she thought it sounded like a drum beating in the distance.

Kanda sat there wondering how the hell he was going to manage teaching this girl anything. After all she was blind and he didn't even know if she had any fighting skills. The next morning he had found after he fell asleep somehow he and Rea had ended up lying down. He opened his eyes to find her sleeping on his chest and he had his arm up with his hand behind his head like a pillow. He laid there thinking he would let her get a few more minutes of sleep before he woke her. She stirred some and ran her hand down his chest which made his eyes widen as he froze in his breathing. He had never had anyone touch him like that before, let alone letting anyone get this close to him to touch him like that. He then looked down at her and moved his shoulder some "Rea…..Rea it's time to get up."

She stirred again as she lifted her head "What time is it?" when she lifted her head he sat up quickly to break the connection between them "I have no idea but we need to get moving." Putting the fire out, it was still chilly so he wrapped his cloak around her as he stood then helped her stand. She reached over and took his elbow and he started walking. The light touch of her hand was even getting to him now he wasn't used to this whole touching thing she had going on with him. He started thinking maybe it was just him, Yeah it had to be him because he wasn't used to human contact.

Rea had gotten a strange feeling as she felt him tense up so she asked "Kanda is there something wrong?" Shaking his head slowly he replied "No. Just keep walking."

They walked a few miles then he made her rest as he turned to her "Sit and rest while I scout ahead." He left her by a tree as he walked up ahead some and he saw a sigh for a town called Bernese. Finally a place where they could get food, shelter and he could call Komui and inform him about what happened to Rea. He walked back to find her sitting there just fidgeting with her hands. She looked so lost he thought as he walked towards her and she raised her head hearing his footsteps "Kanda?" He walked closer "Hai Rea it's me." Her eyes softened as he took hold of her arm to help her up "There is a town up ahead where we can eat and get a room to stay in tonight." She smiled softly "A bath would be great."

Kanda figured she'd want to clean up after having to sleep on the ground. He knew girls didn't like getting dirty and sticky as a matter of fact he didn't either so he thought he could at least get some place where she could take a bath. Not to mention both of them smelled like smoke from the fire. As she grabbed his elbow they walked to the town where he wanted two rooms but the man said there was only one with a big bed. So after careful thought Kanda just turned his head to the side "Che" knowing he needed to get her inside tonight because of the cold "Hai I'll take it" He said with a distinct unsurely sound in his voice.

Kanda then turned as Rea grabbed his arm and he led her to the room. Upon opening it he looked at the room and saw the huge bed but in the corner was a chair and ottoman and he slightly grinned '_That is where I will sleep' _He thought as he told Rea how far the bed was from the door and she let go of his arm and started finding her way there as he turned and shut the door. Walking over to her as she sat on the bed Kanda explained the lay out of the room to her then he turned and walked back to the door "Stay here I will be back shortly. I have some things to get and a phone call to make. When I get back I will lead you to the bathing room down the hall."

Rea smiled softly as she stared straight ahead "Alright Kanda I won't move." She knew he would be back as soon as he could so she leaned herself back on the bed and put her feet up as he sighed and turned the knob and stepped out leaving he room. Rea sat there and began to think about this man she was now with. He was cold and unemotional but he had showed her some warmth in the past hours they had spent together.

Kanda went downstairs and used the phone in the lobby to call Komui and as he explained what had happened and how fast Rea's innocence was awaking. Komui got concerned and he told Kanda to just bring the girl to the Order and he would send another exorcist to deal with his other mission. He agreed because he really didn't want to drag Rea on a mission with him, he would be too busy worry about her to concentrate. As he hung the phone up he looked down at himself and he was covered in black from the smoke of the fire and grass stains not to mention his Black Order outfit burned up in the fire due to it being in his suitcase. So he left the hotel and found a shop that sold clothes. He grabbed a pair of pants and a shirt both for him and Rea because her dress was ruined and as he walked to the counter he saw a drawing pad and some charcoal so he purchased those too thinking it would give Rea something to do.

Walking back he got to the room he saw she hadn't moved from where he left her and he felt relieved walking over and setting the clothes down. He then held the pants up "I hope these fit because there all they had." She gracefully smiled "I'm sure you did fine with the size." He really didn't know because they looked a little big as he stared at her now but it was too late to go back. He then took the pad and charcoal and walked over to her "Here" He said firmly holding it out in front of her as she put her hand up he moved it towards it. Feeling the pad she smiled widely "You didn't have to do this but I'm glad you did." He then let go of the pad as her hand grasped it. "I didn't want you getting in my hair while we sit here all day." He said sternly as he turned but she knew deep down he had bought it for her because he wanted to. He didn't seem like the type to do something without wanting too.

Without further hesitation Kanda turned and took her hand almost pulling her from the bed and in that second her foot slipped out from under her and she almost fell but instead he caught her in his arms. She could tell by the feeling that their faces were inches apart and her eyes widened as he momentarily stood looking into beautiful eyes that couldn't see him back. Then he slowly put her back on her feet and sighed "I didn't mean to be so rough with you. I keep forgetting your-"His words trailed off as she still felt his hands ever so slightly touching her waist. When in actuality he did keep forgetting she couldn't see but he would soon remedy that and remember so he wasn't put in this close position again.

She placed her hands atop his on her waist and he flinched some as she gently rubbed them "It's alright Kanda I know you've never dealt with anyone like me." Shaking his head quickly he pulled his hands from under hers and dropped them to his side. He stared at her face and that's when this strange feeling came over him. She was lovely but he shook the thought from his head reminding himself that she was now a student of the Order.

She thought for a moment they had a connection till his stern voice replied "Hai I have dealt with no one like you that is true." And in his mind he hadn't not someone who was quite as lovely as her. He had been around Marie but that was different. "But it is my **job** to protect you till I get you back to the order." He then turned and held his elbow out "Come and I will walk you to the bathing room."

She slightly sighed at his tone again which a moment ago was softer. What had she done? She certainly couldn't understand him at all and his way of rejection. One minute he could be so protecting and warm and the next he could be so cold and distant. Reaching out she took his elbow in her hand as he led her to the door then down the hall to the bathing room.

He opened the door and told her how it was laid out "Are you sure you don't need any help running the bath?" He asked as she shook her head slightly no. she then walked through the door closing it behind her as he told her "I'll be right outside the door if you need me." She leaned against the door and exhaled heavily realizing that this was how her life was going to be like from now on, alone and in the dark.

Kanda positioned himself outside the door leaning against the wall. He didn't know how long girls took in the bath but he figured it wasn't going to be quickly. He hadn't heard any movement for a moment and he hesitated as he turned about to knock on the door when he heard the water turn on. Stopping his hand before the door he put it down and leaned back against the wall. A few moments later he could hear the water splashing and he closed his eyes but when he did he saw her in the tub with the water running down her skin, leaving it shiny and clean. His eyes popped open and he shook his head _'What the hell are you thinking?'_ He thought to himself as he then straightened himself against the wall and tried to fill his mind with different thoughts. Finding himself thinking about this girl was completely out of character for him. He really wasn't the type to think about girls and anyway she was soon to be a student of his. He had already made his mind up about that because he wanted to train her to take care of herself.

It was about twenty minutes later he heard the door open slowly as she poked her head out "Uh Kanda are you still there." He opened one eye and looked at her "Hai I am here Rea." She opened the door wider and he saw she was holding the pants by the waist and they were a little big on her. He had guessed a size too big and he sighed as he reached for his belt and undid it pulling it from his pants he walked closer to her "Here I'm going to put this on you alright?"

She nodded not knowing what he was talking about but then she felt his hands on her waist moving the belt through the belt loops as he pulled it together in the front and buckled it "There that should work for now." He straightened himself back up as she slightly smiled "Thank you." He then held his arm out some to her hand as she grabbed a hold of it and he walked her back to the room.

Upon entering the room she let go of his arm and he found himself watching her to make sure she didn't trip on anything but she made it to the bed safely and sat on it. He then walked over grabbing the clothes he had bought for himself then turned and took his cloak off and dropped it in the chair "I will be back soon don't go anywhere. When I return I go get us something to eat." He said firmly as she nodded and slide her hand to the table trying to find the pad and charcoal he had gotten her.

Kanda left the room for the bathing room and as he entered he found himself standing there looking in the mirror at himself _'What the hell are you_ _doing? You're getting attached to her'_ he thought to himself as he reached up and grabbed the tie in his hair letting it fall across his shoulders. He had only known this girl two days and already she was breaking through barriers he had had up for years. He ran a bath and undressed lowering himself into the tub as he sunk into it and leaned his head back against the back as his hair floated on the water's surface. He found himself staring at the ceiling and shaking his head back and forth slowly as he thought of all the times she had just reached out and touched him. He was beginning to think that there was something wrong with him the way he always avoided human contact. But he didn't like people invading his personal space but this girl had invaded it many times and _at_ first he didn't like it but now it wasn't really bothering him. He sighed out loud as he submerged himself under the water and breathed out through his nose.

Coming up the water fell off his body as he grabbed the soap and lathered up his hair then submerged again. Coming up this time he wiped his face and then leaned back again. Could this girl actually be getting to the cold hearted Kanda? He had to admit it wasn't like she was a child she was eighteen but what he saw in her was her strength and the sheer will to go on even though terrible things had happened. She may have been blind but she strived to learn the things to get her through life and that's what he saw and he knew with the right training she could be a great exorcist. "_Damn moyashi"_ he whispered as he thought of Allen telling him they could be saviors too. Kanda had never really thought about saving anyone but now his thoughts were jumbled on what to do with this girl. He lifted himself from the bath, stepped out and dried himself off. Getting dressed he realized they hadn't ate yet so after he brushed his hair he decided he better get them something to eat.

Rea was finishing up her drawing she had been working on since Kanda left or his bath as he walked back in the room. Carrying a bag he sat on the table and then he turned and she was smiling at him holding the picture out "Here I hope I captured your good side? I remembered the way you were standing from my first dream of you and now that I know what you look like I can draw your face." Kanda took the drawing from her as he stared at it, it was almost like it was done by a professional as he saw that she had put him in a battle stance with Mugen up by his face. His face was dead on and he slightly grinned at her "Hai you got my good side and arigato" She was hoping this would be a peace offering for the mood he was in when he went to take a bath.

He sat the picture on the table and reached in the bag pulling out some noodles on a plate "I hope you like soba noodles." He handed her the plate and a fork because he didn't think she could use chop sticks and then he sat down and began to eat his. Rea took a bite and they were good but she really hadn't processed losing her parents yet but sitting there it finally hit her that they were gone. She sat the fork on the plate and began to stare silently off to the side as Kanda noticed she wasn't eating.

"You don't like the noodles?" He asked questionably as a tear rolled down her cheek and she replied softly "N-No the noodles are fine I just realized though that my parents aren't ever coming back and I'm alone for the first time in my life."

Kanda lowered his eyes as he sat his chop sticks on the plate and he felt sorry for her. He realized he at this moment was all she had as he sighed "Rea I'm sorry about your parents but you're not alone. When you get to the Order you'll find there are a lot of nice people there." Sitting his plate down as he saw another tear fall from her eye he reached over and handed her a cloth napkin that came with the food "Here wipe your tears."

She reached out and took the napkin and wiped her tears as she asked softly "Kanda will you be around or are you just going to leave me at this Order too." He wanted to tell her the truth so he walked over and sat next to her on the bed "I am an exorcist that finds innocence and I have missions to go on. I really don't know what the Order will do with you when you get there." Turning his head he saw tears welding up in her eyes and he sighed "But I do know I won't leave till you feel comfortable enough with the Order that promise I can make to you."

Reaching her hand out she placed hers a top of his and he flinched some "Thank you Kanda I know I must be such a burden on you right now." He wanted to pull his hand away but for reasons he didn't as he softly replied "No you're not a burden on me." But he knew when she got to the Order they would do all kinds of tests and things on her and he would have to be with her the whole step of the way because he didn't want her frightened any more than she already was.

Pulling his hand slowly out from under hers he stood up "Now eat we have an early morning ahead of us tomorrow." She shook her head yes and began to eat slowly again but she had a feeling that Kanda was going to disappear on her too after they got to this Order he was talking about. She had to face the fact she really didn't know him at all not to mention his cold and unattached demeanor. It wouldn't be his obligation to stay with her and what if she never felt comfortable in this Order? What if she couldn't learn what they wanted to teach her? Would they just throw her out into the street like a lost puppy? She didn't know what her future held all she knew was that Kanda was the only person she had right now and if he deserted her she would surly fall apart.

Later that evening Kanda was sleeping in the chair when he heard her softly crying as she lay in bed. His eyes softened with a hurt in them as he stared at her back that was to him and he tried to go back to sleep but he couldn't. His eyes were closed but then he felt someone standing next to him as he opened one eye and saw her standing next to the chair "What is it?" He asked in an annoyed voice.

She had her hands to her chest and she was sobbing "I'm scared Kanda." He sighed slightly as he pushed his cloak off him "I'm here there's nothing to be scared of." She reached out and felt around for his hand and when she found it she squeezed it tightly "Please Kanda can't you come sleep over here with me."

His eyes widened "Uh I really don't think that would be appropriate Rea" he said sternly as she pleaded again "Please Kanda just this once can you throw your coldness out the window and please just sleep over there. We don't even have to touch I just want to know someone's there." The look on her face saddened more "My mother used to do it when I couldn't sleep."

'_Kuso_' he thought as he stared up at her and sighed "Alright but I'll sleep on top of the covers." Then he added sternly "No touching me got it." She smiled slightly "Yes Kanda I got it."

That had been blown completely out the window when Kanda opened his eyes the next morning only to find he had his arm around Rea and her head was resting on his chest again. He looked down at the sleeping girl and cursed silently in his head as he tried to move his arm from around her but that only made her stir some as he froze. How the hell was he going to manage to remove his arm without waking her? That's when she began to stir again and her hand began to move down his chest. Her touch made him stop breathing for a moment as her hand slid to his abdomen and stopped while resting right above where his pants hit. He rolled his eyes as he exhaled heavily, this was an awkward situation he was in.

He decided he would just pull his arm out and as he tried her hand slide around to his side as she held him tighter. '_Her one weakness' _he thought was insecurity so he just laid there for a while letting her continue her slumber while he felt completely uncomfortable with the situation. After a few moments he was surprised when her hand began to slide back up to his chest. He opened one eye slowly as her hand reached his neck then she began to feel around on his face again. As he felt her hand slide all over his face it was when it came to his eyes he shut the one that was open. He wanted to see what she was going to do at this point. She then moved her hand to his chin gently turning his head towards her face as he opened his eyes. He licked his lips before her finger ran across the bottom one then back up over the top one. She lifted her head slightly off his chest and now their lips were pure millimeters from each other as she rested her hand on his cheek running her thumb over his lips. He was trying to keep his breathing steady as he gazed at this girl who couldn't gaze back at him. He noticed he was beginning to breathe heavily as she ran her fingers over his lips '_What is this strange feeling I'm feeling?' _he thought as his stomach tied in knots.

She then did something that caught him completely off guard she leaned her face up and kissed his cheek softly, his eyes widened as he lay there daring not to move. She had him completely frozen in his spot as his heart began to beat faster. He had never felt anything like this before and he didn't know how to react to it. After she removed her lips from his cheek she softly whispered "You are all I have in this lonely black world now Kanda. But I fear you too will leave me stranded in my own desires." As she spoke Kanda felt his face moving towards hers but then he stopped before his lips connected with hers _'What the hell am I doing?' _He thought as he rolled his eyes and semi coughed out loud which made her drop her head back to his chest and he slightly smirked knowing full well she wasn't asleep now but he laid there with her anyway for about another half hour and he left his arm right where it was as he slightly tightened his grip on her waist to make her feel more secure and she just snuggled closer to him.


	5. Chapter 5

Secrets of my Heart chap.5

Kanda's eyes shot open he couldn't believe he had fallen back to sleep after the thing with Rea. He had just meant to wait a while before he told her to wake up but he himself had dozed off probably from not sleeping so well last night next to her or was it because he felt comfortable with her next to him? He had to admit she had warmed her way into his heart some in just the few days he'd been with her. Hell there for a while he didn't even think he had a heart but this girl had somehow showed him that there was actually one beating in his chest. She had touched him in ways he would have never let anyone else touch him and even kissed his cheek something he would have never allowed anyone else to do.

As he began to look around he realized Rea wasn't next to him anymore so he quickly sat up and saw her sitting Indian style on the end of the bed with Mugen laid across her legs. He stared at her for a moment then sat forward some "Oi Rea what are you doing?"

She smiled widely as she heard his voice "I'm watching over you while you sleep." She said firmly as he stared blankly at her "Hai but your blind." She placed her hands on Mugen "Well that doesn't mean I can't watch over you till you teach me how to fight. I was holding your sword and I could have stopped anyone that came through the door." She then grabbed Mugen's handle and held the sword up "See Kanda you we're perfectly safe." Shaking his head for a moment he the sighed "Che."

But then Kanda noticed the determination in her eyes as he reached up and snatched Mugen from her hands quickly. He had never let anyone hold Mugen let alone swing it around "You have to unsheathe the Katana to fight someone baka girl." He said firmly.

Her head lowered and her smile disappeared as she softly replied "Unsheathe? What does that mean?" Kanda shook his head but was intrigued by her curiosity so he got up and walked to the end of the bed and leaned himself into her back as he reached around her and placed Mugen in her hands. He took her hand and placed it on Mugen's handle then taking her other hand he wrapped it around the sheath. Putting his hand back over hers on the handle and the other over the one on the sheath he gently began to pull Mugen from its sheathe. As he pulled the katana from the sheathe he tightened his grip over her hand. "This is called unsheathing your blade." She felt the katana's handle in her hand and she felt it leave the sheathe and she knew now that there was an actual blade out in the open as she felt Kanda's hand atop hers.

"So now it is ready for battle Kanda?" she asked smiling widely as he saw how interested she was at knowing. He had to admit to himself that her curiosity was a new experience for him but playing with Mugen wasn't that amusing to him. If she was going to learn to wield a sword she would have to do better than this "Hai it is ready for battle now" he said then sighed heavily.

She then got a determined look as she asked him firmly "Kanda may I sheathe it back up?" Turning his head to the side "Che" and shaking it Kanda really didn't know if this was a good idea Mugen was sharp and she might cut herself. But her look of determination made him sigh again and he gave in as he stared at her eyes and realized she would have to learn sooner or later "Hai but if you cut yourself I'm not to blame."

She nodded as he let go of the handle and her hand and he began to explain to her how she should put the tip to the end of the sheath then slowly slide the sword in. He told her how long the katana was so that she could judge the distance she would have to hold it out to turn it towards the sheath. It took her a moment and for a second there he thought she was going to miss the hole it slide into but she used her fingers to feel where the tip was, she was smart because she ran her fingers across the dull side of the blade and Kanda smirked some seeing her demonstration as she slide it into the sheath.

Picking it up with one hand she held it out to him "Did I do alright?" Kanda nodded a firm nod "Hai you did fine." Now she knew how to unsheathe a blade and re-sheathe it back up the only part left was to teach her to use one. Kanda turned as he took Mugen from her hands in one swipe "Enough lesson time we have to get moving to get to the Order before tomorrow" He said sternly.

Turning Rea lifted her hand and caught his as he went to turn away from her. Kanda froze like a statue at her touch slowly turning his head as he gazed back and down at her as she stared forward "Thank you Kanda." Kanda lowered his gaze "Don't thank me yet. When we get to the Order I will train you mercilessly without the light touch I just had." She slightly grinned as she stood up "I wouldn't have it any other way. I want you to train me hard so I can learn to be a great fighter like you."

Sitting on the train Kanda stared at Rea as she sat there in silence for a while and her eyes began to droop. She tried to get comfortable but the seats were really uncomfortable as she squirmed around a lot. Her constant fidgeting was getting to him so he got up moved over to her side and sat next to her "You are restless in your sleep." He reached up and pulled her head gently to his shoulder something he would have never done with anyone else but if it kept her still he was fine with it "Here. Now sleep." He said firmly as she closed her eyes resting her head on his shoulder. The sheer feel of knowing he was next to her settled her mind as she drifted off to sleep.

He sat staring out the window watching the scenery go by as he thought of how would be the best way to train her. Her knowing her surrounding skills would be fine she seemed to adapt quickly to new places and that was good for missions. He also knew he would have to get Marie to help her with her tuning in to her different senses. He figured he would have to take a few months to just train her nonstop to get her ready for battling akuma. He wasn't going to just send her straight out into a fight unless he was sure she could handle herself and her innocence. There hadn't been an incident with her innocence since the day of the fire and Kanda wondered if maybe she was suppressing it some due to the shock of losing her parents and being attacked by those boys that day. Crossing his leg over the other one and closing his eyes he leaned his head back some to rest it on the back of the seat, it was sort of a meditating position he picked up riding trains all these years when he couldn't sit and meditate.

An hour later he felt Rea's head move from his shoulder as he opened one eye slowly to stare at her. That was when he noticed the marks under her eyes, they had been there all along but they were faint now they were dark black. It was almost like a tattoo of spirals from the corner of each eye that reached down around an inch under them to her cheekbones. He opened his other eye quickly and reached up and grabbed her face turning it towards him quickly which startled her some. His eyes widened as he noticed the closeness of their lips and she felt his warm breath on her face telling her he was very close to her "I-I'm sorry but it looks as if your innocence is growing quickly" He said moving his head back some making her relax a little at the feel of his hand on her face as he loosened his grip. "You now have these black very noticeable spirals at the corner of your eyes."

She gasped "Does it look bad Kanda? Does it make me look ugly?"

Kanda stared at her for a moment then firmly said "That depends on your definition of ugly." He scowled some "If you ask me it looks fine."

She smiled widely "Thanks Kanda." But then she frowned staring back at him "You're not lying to me are you to make me feel better?"

Kanda removed his hand from her face and sighed "Che" then he leaned his head back again "Have I lied to you so far?"

She thought for a moment then grinned "No. No you haven't." Kanda then said firmly "Then they must look okay."

Rea really didn't know how to take Kanda sometimes, his personality was all over the place. Sometimes she could feel him relax when she touched him but then other times he tensed up almost stone like. His words were all over the place too, mostly he was cold and unfeeling but sometimes he said the sweetest things in a nonchalant way. Some people might not think so but she could hear it in the tone of his voice when it changed as he spoke. One of her other senses that had sharpened was hearing the tone of peoples voices and figuring out if what they said was true and meaningful of just bullshit they were spouting. Kanda was a strange personality though and she wasn't able to figure him out all the way. He had things deep inside she figured that he had seen or done that had made him the way he was but she didn't care she liked him exactly the way he was even if he was unfeeling at times.

As the train pulled into the station Kanda lead Rea off the train as she felt the tenseness fill his body. This was going to be a long road and Kanda hoped he could train Rea right so that she didn't end up getting herself killed on her first mission. As they walked down the street he turned his head to stare slightly down at her face. He had to admit she had determination and spirit but as he stared at her something inside of him stirred. He turned his head shaking the feeling off as he looked ahead and fell back into his steps. What was it about this girl that touched his soul so deeply? He had noticed when he was around her he felt completely different then he normally did. She warmed something inside of him, something he hadn't felt in a long time or that he thought he would never feel.

As they got to the Black Order headquarters the gate keeper scanned Rea and admitted her through the gates. Walking through the doors she heard all the commotion going on inside and her grip slightly tightened on Kanda's arm. Walking her down the long hall to Komui's office Kanda sensed that Rea was getting more nervous so he softly said "Oi it will be fine I won't let anything happen to you."

She slightly smiled and nodded as they continued to walk down the hall. When they reached Komui's office he was his normal loud, annoying self Kanda thought as he fluttered around Rea checking her out and she never let go of Kanda's arm.

Seeing that Komui stopped and then stared at Kanda who narrowed his eyes as if to say _'I'm not letting her go by herself.'_ Komui then grinned slightly "Alright I'd like to check her innocence out."

Kanda then stepped forward breaking the grasp Rea had on his arm "You're not going to hurt her Komui. I know how this check out usually goes and I'm going to be in there with her." The exorcist stated firmly as Komui's eyes widened and he then narrowed his at Kanda "Alright but you can't interfere." Kanda took a step closer to Komui as he glared at him "I mean it you're not going to hurt her." Komui stared wide eyed at Kanda realizing that somehow Kanda must have developed a feeling of protection for this girl.

Just then Rea cleared her throat and Kanda turned around to stare at her "It's alright Kanda I'll do whatever test he wants." Turning his head to the side Kanda sighed "Che" then snapped his head back to look at Komui. Komui smiled slightly and nodded to Kanda "I'll be gentle with her Kanda." Kanda walked back to Rea took her arm and intertwined it with his "Hai that you will!" he stated in a very threatening tone.

Turning he lead Rea behind Komui to the examination room. After getting Rea into the room Kanda led her to the table where Komui was ringing his hands together to get a look at her. Kanda turned and death glared him "Oi you hurt her I slice you got it!"

Komui smiled nervously "I'll be as gentle as possible Kanda" knowing full well Kanda would keep his threat. Stepping to the side he let Komui go to work on examining her as he watched carefully every move the crazy scientist made.

Leaning back against the wall Kanda relaxed some while Komui went to work examining Rea's eyes "She has a slight milky film over her iris's" Looking down he saw the spirals under the girls eyes "And these I don't know what they mean."

Kanda sighed as he walked over and took a closer look "Oi those only got darker while we were on the train back here. They were much lighter before, almost unnoticeable."

Komui leaned in closer "I see then maybe it has something to do with her innocence growing." Kanda turned his head "Che, Your perceptive." Komui just grinned "Awww Kanda you don't have to be so sarcastic with your words. This is something I've never seen before." Kanda just sighed some knowing if Komui had never seen or heard of this it was probably unique.

"So what do you think?" Kanda asked as he still watched Komui move Rea's face around then he stood up and put his hand to his chin "I'm not sure but have you noticed anything else going on with her?" he turned and stared at the samurai "Anything in her sleep patterns, attitude, general personality?" Kanda thought for a moment "No just the spirals and of course her being able to transport me from anywhere I am right to her from about a quarter of a mile away." Komui's eyes gleamed with interest "I seeeee." Then he raised his finger in the air "Time to take her down below then and have her evaluated by Hevlaska."

Rea slightly tilted her head "Hevlaska?" Kanda reached out and took her arm "Oi don't worry she just accesses how strong your innocence is." Rea nodded as she slid off the table holding Kanda's arm tightly. As they walked to the platform Rea felt it begin to move downward and she grasp onto Kanda's arm tighter his head turned slightly to glance down at her face and he saw the look on it. It was a look of not knowing what to expect but also a look of knowing he wouldn't let anything happen to her as she leaned her head on his shoulder. He turned his head back to look forward and thought '_I will protect her from the things she can't protect herself from until she is able to defend herself.' _As the platform came to a stop at the bottom they stepped off. Rea was feeling a little nervous as she felt something wrap around her waist and Kanda said firmly "Oi just relax." She then felt herself lifted in the air "UHH KAANDAA!" She said horrified as Kanda replied "It's alright relax Rea."

She knew Kanda would never put her in danger and once she realized that she relaxed as Hevlaska brought her up in front of her "You are the most relaxed than anyone I've examined."

Rea smiled slightly "I know Kanda would never intentionally put me in danger."

Hevlaska spoke softly "You are right in that, now just relax a little more and let me see what you have." She closed her eyes putting her head to Rea's and began to take in Rea's innocence power "20%, 30%, 50%, 60, no 65%," Hevalska slowly opened her eyes and looked at Komui "65% and growing fast. She is well on her way to reaching her potential output at this time." She then lowered Rea down next to Kanda.

"Has anyone ever reached 100%?" Rea asked questionably. Hevlaska she spoke softly "No innocence grows to its own potential in time."

"What about you Kanda?" Rea slightly tilted her head as she waited for an answer." Hevlaska swayed as she looked at Kanda "Kanda hit 70% with his innocence but his innocence hasn't reached its full potential yet."

She loved to hear things about Kanda because he was so quiet and standoffish at times. Kanda took Rea's arm and intertwined it with his again as he groaned "Hai but that was only because I was forced to fuse with my innocence at a young age."

Rea had a look of confusion for a moment '_Forced?'_ she thought but then Hevlaska cut in before she could ask him what that meant "You have found quite the accommodator there Kanda."

Kanda just sighed "Che, I know and I will train her from here on out."

Komui smiled slightly realizing that without even knowing it himself the samurai had become attached to this girl and Komui thought that was cute as he then turned to Kanda "I'll have Lenalee show her to her room."

Kanda then growled "No! I'll do that I hope you gave her the one next to me like I asked?"

Komui nodded as he stepped aside "Made up just the way you asked for it to be set up." Kanda turned leading Rea to the platform "I will show her to her room then take her to eat. She has had quite a day and I'm sure she's tired." Rea didn't have time to protest because she wanted to spend more time with Kanda as he led her away.

On the platform she quietly said "Kanda I was hoping to spend more time with you." He sighed for a moment "Oi you will have all day with me tomorrow. I will start your training but for now I want you to rest after we get some food." She knew he was right she was a little burnt out from all the stuff that had went on today and she also knew he'd be right next door if she needed him.

Hevlaska turned to Komui after they left "Her innocence will grow stronger quickly I sensed and you know Kanda will protect her with his life. I just don't think he knows it yet."

Komui pushed his glasses up and gave Hevlaska a serious look "No I think he has already figured that out. He has already killed someone to protect her and I know she has already gotten to him I just don't know how deep the feelings go yet."

Hevlaska leaned down next to Komui "Maybe this will be good for him. It will give him something to concentrate on for a while. It may also help with his loneliness. I know he stays clear of everyone in the Order but maybe this girl is just what he needs right now." Putting his hand to his chin Komui sighed "Maybe."

As Kanda and Rea walked off the platform Rea heard all the noise coming from the cafeteria as they passed and she dropped her arm grabbing on to Kanda's hand interlacing her fingers in his as he didn't even miss a step as he kept walking. This was becoming very normal for him and it didn't bother him anymore when she touched him actually it sort of made him feel a little special to her.

"Kanda where is all the noise coming from?" Kanda glanced into the cafeteria "Just a bunch of baka people yacking away while they should be eating." He groaned as she smiled slightly "Kanda aren't those your friends?"

That stopped him in his tracks as he turned to her and frowned for a moment "Oi I have no friends. They are just people I get stuck working with" He stated firmly.

As sad look crossed her face as she turned her head "Am I just someone you got stuck with too Kanda?" His eyes widened realizing he'd said something that hurt her as she loosened the grip on his hand but he tightened his slightly as he turned his head away from her for a moment. Why was this so difficult for him?

He looked back to her with a hurtful look in his eyes "No you're not just someone I got stuck with." He sternly replied "If you must know I enjoy your company more than anyone else's. Because of your curiosity and willingness to learn."

He watched as a slight smile crossed her face because she could tell in the tone of his voice he meant every word he had just said. He then turned and gave her hand a slight tug "Come I'll take you to your room now." As he began to walk again she followed trying to map the steps in her head.

When they got to the stairs and started to go up them she counted them in her head, and all the turns then when they got to the floor Kanda reached over and placed her hand on the wall then took her other hand. "Your room is the sixth one down. Can you find it?" She nodded and began to walk feeling along the wall as she hit door after door then stopped in front of the sixth one.

"Well done." Kanda said reaching for the door knob "My room is the one on the left if you are exiting yours." She nodded as the door opened and Kanda let go of her hand "I had them set the room up exactly like your room at your house. Everything is in the same place." As she began to walk forward she counted her steps and sure enough on the fourth step she found the foot of the bed. Turning to her left she walked five steps and found a desk. Smiling she turned to him "Thank you Kanda its perfect now I don't have to learn the lay out."

Kanda smirked as he replied firmly "I need you focused on training not learning where everything in your room is. Now come I'll take you to get some dinner." He held his hand out to her as she walked forward and then when she got close enough he took hers. He never thought in a million years that he would be reaching out for someone but here he was taking her hand and leading her back down to the cafeteria. 


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Alright people there has been **a change** in this story in order for it to fit a time line with the anime and Manga. **I went back and** **changed** Kanda being a General now he is no longer a General he is just the same awesome cold hearted exorcist he was to begin with. This story takes place at the end of the anime where it left off. It's just a little ripple in the life of Kanda for a few months. I'm sorry about that but when I started writing it I was going another way but in the middle it got turned into a weird little frustrated attraction thing. (Or something to that effect)

Secrets of my Heart chap.6

As they entered the cafeteria everyone looked up as he led her over to where Jerry's cooking station was. Jerry turned around "Ooooh just look at this cutie pie. Isn't she just the cutest thing?" He leaned out his window as Kanda frowned at him "What will it be my dear I can cook anything you like."

While Rea thought for a moment Jerry looked at Kanda "The usual for you?" Kanda nodded a firm yes then he looked back to Rea and she smiled.

"I'll have what Kanda is having if it's those delicious noodles he feed me yesterday."

Jerry smiled "Alright then two bowls of soba coming up." While Jerry prepared the noodles Kanda walked Rea to a table and sat her down "Oi I'll be right back" He said taking his arm from hers turning to go get the food.

Just then Allen, Lenalee and Lavi walked over and Allen introduced himself "Hello I'm Allen Walker."

Rea 's head cocked to the side as she slightly smiled "Hi I'm Rea" Allen then sat down across from her as he pointed to Lenalee and Lavi not knowing she was blind "That is Lenalee and this is Lavi."

It was then Lavi poured into his spill as hearts formed in his eyes "Ahhhh you're just my type. You're soooo beautiful." He took Rea's hand and he leaned forward only to be grabbed by the back of the shirt and pulled backwards "Baka usagi just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Kanda asked firmly staring daggers into the young exorcist as he squirmed.

Leanlee turned to Kanda "We just wanted to introduce ourselves and you know how Lavi gets around a beautiful girl."

Kanda's head turned to the side as he sighed "Che" holding Lavi with one hand and a tray in the other, he sat the tray down and pulled Lavi to his face "Oi cut the shit Lavi." Lavi smiled then as Kanda let him go he ran and coward behind Lenalee. Kanda turned around as he shook his head.

Allen smiled slightly as he rose from the table "Well it was nice to meet you maybe we can talk more later." Rea smiled brightly "Yeah that would be great." Kanda didn't understand the feeling he felt at the moment but he would soon realize it was a hint of jealousy of him not wanting to share Rea's attention with anyone.

It was then Allen noticed her eyes "Oh I'm sorry are you blind? How stupid of me not to notice."

Kanda turned to Allen and narrowed his eyes "Moyashi! You bet-" Allen interrupted him "IT'S ALLEN BAKANDA!" Kanda just turned his head to the side "Che."

Then after a moment he looked back to Allen "Hai she is blind but she has a special and rare innocence." Not wanting to ask for the young exorcist's help he almost choked on his words but he knew Allen would probably be the best out of all to help him as he sighed then spoke softly "W-Would you mind helping me train her some."

Allen's eyes widened in excitement and he was also stunned Kanda would ask for his help so he knew this girl had to be something extraordinary "U-uhhh yeah sure Kanda I'll help any way I can." Kanda began to sit down across the table from Rea "Oi then meet me in the training room tomorrow morning at 7:00 a.m."

Allen nodded then turned to go catch up with Lavi and Lenalee as Lenalee tried to calm Lavi from thinking Kanda was going to kill him.

Kanda sat down across from Rea, he just sort of stared at the table for a moment wondering what that feeling was that reared up inside him when he saw Lavi holding her hand. His attention was pulled back to reality when Rea spoke "U-Uhh Kanda is something wrong you're awful quiet all of a sudden. Well not that you aren't all the time but now it's a sort of weird quiet."

Shaking the feeling off he reached for the bowl of soba noodles on the tray and sat them in front of Rea "N-no there's nothing-"Looking into her eyes at that moment he saw just how beautiful and blue they really were and he slightly stumbled over his words as he finished his sentence "I.. no…nothing's wrong."

She smiled widely at him hearing the uncertainty in his voice "Kaaanda I know you and you're being awfully strange right now."

Picking up his chopsticks he dug them into his noodles "Drop it Rea!" he said sternly and she smiled, now that was the Kanda she knew.

Reaching around on the table she found her chopstick's and picked them up and dug them into her bowl as she began to eat the delicious noddle's he had introduced her to the day before.

After they finished eating Kanda walked Rea back to her room and as he opened her door for her he reminded her where his room was "Remember if your exiting your room mine is on the left if you need me."

She smiled slightly as she was feeling a little run down from everything going on today "Thanks Kanda and I'll remember."

He said his goodbye and she walked in her room closing the door. As she stood there a feeling of being alone for the first time hit her, she was truly alone. No mother or father to check in on her to make sure she was okay, there would be no one. Taking a deep breathe she clasped her hands to her chest as it finally sank in her parents were gone. Tears flowed down her cheeks as she walked slowly to the bed and fell across it sobbing.

In the room next to hers Kanda was preparing for bed when he heard slight sobs through the wall. He sat on his bed placing his elbows on his knees and lowered his head into his hands closing his eyes. He felt terrible he couldn't save her parents and hearing her crying now only made him feel more terrible. He wanted to get up and go to her but he knew she needed to let it out. Truly what could he really do? He didn't know how to comfort anyone let alone tell them everything would be alright when he himself knew it was probably a lie. He didn't know how things would turn out for her but he would find out just how far she was willing to push herself tomorrow. After a little while he opened his eyes because the sobbing had stopped and he laid back on his bed raising his hands and clasping them behind his head.

Hours later Rea awoke in her room and she could feel the darkness in it. Pulling herself into the fetal position in the bed she lay there and listened to all the noises. The room felt damp and cold not to mention empty, as she heard the wind blowing outside. It was like a howling more than blowing and she began to get frightened. Before she knew it she closed her eyes and pictured Kanda next to her and that's when she felt him '_Craaap' _she thought because not meaning to she had just transported him into her bed.

His breathing was deep and sturdy so she knew he was still asleep as his head rolled to the side and he moaned slightly. Feeling him there gave her a comfort as she moved her hand to his chest and placed it on it. Feeling his chest rise and fall in deep breaths she felt the rhythm of his heart as it beat calmly. Then laying her head softly on his shoulder she snuggled up to him careful not to wake him and she closed her eyes.

Just then one of Kanda's eyes opened slowly as he felt her next to him. His mind screamed _'Get up!' _but something deep inside of him told him she just needed him there right now or he would still be in his bed. So closing his eye again he laid there and thought he would get up after she fell asleep and go back to his room. He must have fallen asleep sometime during the night because when he opened his eyes there was a slight hint of light coming through the one small window. Just enough for him to make out the sleeping girl next to him who he was now turned facing and his arms were wrapped around her with her face buried in his chest.

He gently raised her head to remove his arm from underneath it then laying her head ever so gently on the pillow he froze as he took in the full beauty of her face while she slept. Her skin was a milky white and had a slight fresh glow to it _'Flawless'_ he thought as he searched every inch of it with his eyes. He knew she would soon have battle scars from the many fights that were to come. He wanted to know what she felt when she touched his face so he closed his eyes and reached his hand up and softly began running it over her face. He could feel her cheek bones, her lips, nose, and eyes and he tried to picture her face in his head as he did this. But after a moment of running his hand over her eyes again and realizing they were open he opened his quickly and was staring into hers

"I-I'm sorry I just wanted to know what you saw when you did that to me."

She smiled slightly "Don't be Kanda" she said lifting her hand to his cheek "I see a very beautiful man when I touch your face." By instinct or by the strange feeling he had in his stomach from her touching him he reached his hand up and put it over hers on his cheek gently caressing it. He stared at her for several seconds before he realized he was lost in her beauty and he shook his head and dropped his hand and quickly sat up.

She sat up behind him "What's the matter Kanda?"

He started to speak but the words came out jumbled "I-I J-j-ust don't like to get close to people." She could tell he was nervous about being this close to her and she knew this was her chance. She realized only yesterday that she was beginning to like him a lot. So without even thinking she reached her hand up and placed it gently on his cheek which caused him to tense up but then he slowly closed his eyes at her touch. Turning his head slightly to the side to where he was almost looking over his shoulder she ran her thumb across his lips as she felt him relax some. Leaning her face in closer to his she gently pressed her lips to his as his eyes shot open and he tensed back up.

He could have sworn for a moment he quit breathing but in a mere second his face softened some and he closed his eyes and kissed her slightly back. It was an innocent but warm kiss on the lips and he felt his stomach flip flop with some strange sensation, he had never let anyone kiss him before especially in this lifetime but he had to admit to himself it felt good.

Their lips slightly stuck together as she slowly leaned back and smiled slightly "See Kanda it's not hard to get close to someone."

He just stared at her for a moment completely dazed then he shook this strange feeling off as he quickly turned his head and he felt the heat rise in his cheeks and he knew he had to get out of the room quickly as he said firmly "Hai but I don't like getting close to people now we need to get ready the moyahsi will be waiting for us." There it was again that cold demeanor side of him and she wondered how he could go from a few moments ago of being so gentle and sweet back to this in mere seconds.

She sighed as she sat back "Alright."

He stood up quickly and began to walk to the door "I'll be back in ten minutes to get you" and then he was gone out the door. As he stepped out the door and closed it he stopped and leaned up against it taking a deep breath. If she only knew how he had felt when she kissed him. He had liked it and he wanted to venture further into it but the sheer thought of her being his student now had stopped him. He could not let this happen again because this girl was bringing feelings up inside of him he hadn't felt in what seemed like a lifetime. His mind was racing with thoughts and these feelings were over taking him right now and this wasn't good.

The morning had started off with teaching her some basic defense moves if someone was attacking her. Teaching her where to place her hands and some basic foot moves to knock someone of balance or to throw them. With Allen's help Kanda could make her sense where each one of them were as they walked around her by using her ears to listen for their footsteps.

"Concentrate Rea visualize seeing us in your mind." As she listened to their footsteps she could hear how close or how far they were from her. Kanda walked about a foot from her and stood in front of her as she reached her hand up and pressed it to his chest "Your right there." She said smiling as she felt her hand land on his chest.

But at the same time Allen was sneaking up in back of her but to both their surprise right when he was going to grab her shoulder she sidestepped and grabbed his hand flipping him over to the ground. Allen hit the ground with a thud as he wheezed out "Impressive."

Kanda nodded to Allen the slightly smirked "Very well done Rea." But then he tried to catch her off guard by grabbing her but she surprised him by still being in her zone and she broke his grasp with her hand and flipped his arm behind him placing her other around his neck, she then kicked the back of his knee sending him to the floor on his knees.

Allen's eyes widened in surprise "She's a fast learner Kanda." Kanda saw a flaw in her technique though and flipped her over his shoulder and she hit the ground hard as he held onto her arm "Hai that she is but she has open spots." Rea caught the breath that was just knocked out of her as she laid there staring at the darkness '_I can do this'_ she said in a very determined voice in her head.

Allen watched as this girl completely took both of them by surprise as she lifted her legs wrapping them around Kanda's neck and flipped him over on top of her as she tightened her arm around his neck. Allen stared at Kanda and a slight curve of his lip showed a grin of admiration for her effort. "Very well done Rea" He said taking her hand and rolling off her as he stood he pulled her up with him.

"You've got skills that's for sure" Allen said smiling as he walked over closer to them then he noticed the look on Kanda's face, it was a look he had never seen on the cold demeaned samurai as he saw Kanda's eyes as he stared at Rea. It was then Allen realized that Rea meant a little more to Kanda then anyone really knew. Allen cleared his throat and Kanda's head shot towards him to glare at him "Do you need me for anything else or do you have it from here?"

Kanda shook his head slightly "Uhh no moyashi and arigato, but I may need you again after I teach her with swords. She needs to go against someone who doesn't fight the way I train her."

Allen grinned widely "Alright then just let me know when and I'll be happy to help. I'll leave you two to your training then." Turning to walk out Allen looked back over his shoulder and he saw Kanda showing Rea some sword moves by shadowing her from behind, which meant he was standing behind her with his hands on her arms showing her how to move them. Allen just chuckled to himself because he could tell Kanda liked this girl but he also knew she was his student and that could cause a huge problem. But he didn't think Kanda would ever get involved like that with someone especially if she was his student.

After a few more hours and some well gotten bruises Rea felt exhausted but Kanda seemed like he wasn't even winded or tired. He saw the tale signs of exhaustion on her face and he slightly smiled as he walked over to her "Oi, I think that's enough for today." But she wanted to keep going because she knew he wasn't tired and she still had a move she couldn't quite get yet so she turned and said "No Kanda I have to stick this move before we quit."

Kanda knew she wasn't going to get it as tired as she was "No Rea it's time to stop." She snapped on him "NO! I WANT TO DO IT!" she stood back in the position he had showed her and faced him "Come on Kanda let's get this done."

He sighed turning his head to the side "Che" as he walked over to her and placed his hand on her shoulder "No Rea it is time to stop now!" He said very sternly and she dropped her hands to her side in defeat "Fiiine" He took her hand and placed it on his elbow "You'll have plenty of time tomorrow to stick that move."

Kanda had decided that a bath was what he need to wash everything away that had happened today. He had to admit Rea had surprised him with her skills and even that kiss she had given him earlier. As he sat leaned back in the bath after washing his hair he sighed heavily to himself as the thought of that kiss playing over in his head. After about the fourth time he sat up and took the plug out and sat it on the side of the tub. Standing up he grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself as he stepped out onto the floor.

A few seconds later he heard the door knob turn and his eyes widened seeing the door open _'I thought I locked that'_ he thought as the door opened wider and he saw Rea walking in the door with a robe on. She shut the door and before he knew it she had opened the robe and was about to drop it. Without even realizing it Kanda took in every inch of her with his eyes before speaking in a shaky voice "Uh. I-I Uhhh. I don't think you want to do that." He said covering his eyes quickly which was pointless at that point as she wrapped the robe back around her with a surprised look on her face.

"K-Kanda? What are you doing in here?"

Kanda turned his head to the side "I was taking a bath and I thought I locked the door."

She was embarrassed as she tried to cover herself more "I-I'm sorry I thought the bathroom was free."

He saw how shaken up she was as he walked closer to her "You have to be more careful I could have been anyone."

She knew he was close as she reached her hand out and it came to rest on his bare chest. He inhaled deeply when her hand touched him the water still beaded up on his skin and he swallowed hard in his throat, He didn't know what it was about this girl but she could freeze him in his tracks.

"Kanda I'm glad it was you and not someone else." She said stepping ever so closer to him as he stood there frozen. Rea had come to like the feel and closeness of Kanda when he was near her. She bit her lower lip as she began to run her hand softly up his chest to his neck then it came to rest on his cheek. His eyes closed as she ran her thumb ran over his lips and he exhaled deeply.

"You are such a beautiful man Kanda" reaching her index finger up she ran it by his eye "Your eyes they tell of a man full of strength and coldness at times. But I know those eyes can also be warm and caring."

He tried to control his breathing as he lifted his hand and placed it atop hers on his face and then he gently pulled hers away from his face "R-Rea I-I-" he didn't get the rest out because before he knew it he had cupped her face with both his hands and kissed her ever so gently. She responded by kissing him back as he slowly walked her backwards against the door as she let the top half of her robe drop some. Sliding one hand down her neck then through the space between her breasts he let it glide along her waist to her hip as she parted her lips some and he glided his tongue into her mouth as he felt every part of it with his.

Running her hand up his side then over his shoulder she tangled her hand in his hair which was draped across his back and shoulders. His breathing was getting jagged as he continued the kiss and feeling his way around her body with his hands. He had kissed anyone like this in a long, long time and it was getting a little slobbery around their mouths as he breathed into hers.

Just then there was a hard knock on the door and Lavi's irritating voice "HEEEY IS THERE SOMEONE IN THERE! " Kanda broke the kiss quickly stepping backwards with a surprised look on his face leaving Rea completely breathless "OI BAKA USAGI GET LOST!"

"OH YUUU ARE YOU BATHING? I GUESS I'LL COME BACK LATER THEN!" Then he heard Lavi's footsteps traipse off as Rea pulled up her robe back around herself and covered herself back up.

Kanda felt really strange about losing control like that because she was his student and this wasn't right "Oi Rea I'm sorry. We can't let this happen again." Lowering his head he sighed "You're my student and it's not right."

She exhaled loudly "Alright Kanda but I have to tell you something." Kanda's eyes gleamed with curiosity as she paused for a moment then smiled slightly "I am very attracted to you."

Wiping his mouth he walked closer to her "This cannot happen again" he stated sternly as he took her arm and moved her to the side just to get the hell out of the bathing room before he did something else stupid. As he walked out he stopped at the door turning his head slightly to look back at her "Make sure to lock the door after I leave alright."

She nodded feeling a little stupid she had told him that but she also knew he had to feel something for her or he wouldn't have kissed her like that. As Kanda walked down the hall to his room he realized he had another problem right now as he looked down. He had never experienced anything like this before and now it was an embarrassing situation as he looked to make sure no one saw him, side stepping slightly he just hoped it would go away soon.


	7. Chapter 7

Secrets of my Heart chap.7

The next few weeks were sort of awkward between Rea and Kanda it was hard for Kanda to concentrate on training her when he had to touch her. Every time he did something inside of him stirred and his focus was off. He was hoping that Marie and Tiedol would get here soon to help with her training. He had talked to them earlier in the week and they had been delayed by some innocence they had found in a town north of the Order.

As they continued their training Kanda had stood behind Rea with her back to his chest and his arms around her showing her how to move the sword. He found himself inhaling the sweet fragrance of her hair as she moved in front of him. Every nerve in his body was on edge as he moved her back and forth and his stomach was in knots.

Rea could feel how tense he was as she stopped their movements and turned to him "Kanda is something wrong you seem tense today" she sighed heavily "And yesterday and the day before that?"

Kanda shook his head slowly "N-No I'm fine." He replied sternly but she knew that wasn't like him so she placed her hand on his cheek "You're lying to me Kanda I can tell because your eye is twitching."

Reaching his hand he was going to take hold of hers and pull it off his face "Yeah well-" He then stopped and dropped his hands to his side and stared at her as he exhaled slightly "Alright if you must know I am having a slight problem concentrating with you moving like that in front of me." '_Why the hell did I just say that?'_ He thought after it already left his mouth. He knew that came out completely wrong but was he supposed to lie to her? He wasn't one to lie about things that were true.

She blushed slightly and smiled some "Whhhhy Kanda are you feeling a little-" He cut her off by turning his head to the side "Che" then she finished her sentence "Frustrated?" he quickly turned his head towards her "I don't know what that means because I have never felt frustration around you."

At that moment Allen walked into the training room "Kanda" Kanda immediately got frustrated then looked at Rea "Except when he's around." Allen noticed the scene in front of him with Rea's hand on Kanda's face and he smiled slightly and decided to inquire about it with a wide Allen grin "What kind of training are you teaching her Kanda?"

Kanda's frustration hit the roof at that point "MOYASHIIII!" Allen then answered "IT'S ALLEN BAKANDAA!"

Rea then turned to Allen and smiled "Oh I was just trying to read Kanda's facial expressions" She held out her hands and slightly grinned "Would you like me to read yours Allen?" Allen grinned like an idiot Kanda thought as he answered "Sure!" But not knowing why Kanda grabbed her hand in mid- air as it went towards Allen's face "Oi we don't have time for you to do that."

She gave a surprised look as his hand was tight around her arm but then she felt it loosen on her wrist as his head lowered some because he realized he had just acted like a jealous idiot he thought. He didn't know why he did it, was it because he didn't want her touching Allen the way she touched him?

Allen just stared at Kanda then smiled slightly seeing the look on Kanda's face. It was a look of slight jealousy so Allen softly replied "It's alright Rea I don't need my face read." He gave Kanda a stern look as if to say _'What the hell are you doing?'_ Which Kanda quickly turned his head away from looking Allen directly in the face. It was then Allen knew Kanda had feelings for this girl, his student, was he out of his mind?

It was later that afternoon when Marie and Tiedol arrived at the Order and Kanda filled them in on Rea's abilities. Kanda had been training Rea with bamboo sticks to show her how to get the moves down and to get her used to the weight of a katana. Marie decided he would take her and help her hone her ears in on movements.

So while he spent the afternoon with Rea Kanda had been called to Komui's office. Komui had a mission for him and Allen it seemed there had been some sightings of Akuma in a town near the Order. Kanda hesitated to take it till Komui reassured him that Marie would be working with Rea for a couple of days. It wasn't the training part he was worried about it was leaving her alone but in the past few weeks she had seemed to settle in with everyone so he accepted. He wouldn't have time to tell her he was leaving because Komui said it was urgent that they leave right then so Kanda asked Lavi to tell her he would be back in a couple of days and after a few threats to the red haired exorcist about crushing on her he and Allen left.

On the train back from their mission Allen decided to do some small talk with Kanda only for Kanda it was a little too personal. Allen looked over to Kanda sitting by the window and he more or less took his life in his hands by speaking out his thoughts "Kanda I know you like her." Kanda nonchalantly answered giving Allen a furrowed brow look "She is nice and I don't have to worry about her prying into my thoughts like some **other** people I know." Allen swallowed slightly knowing Kanda was insinuating he was prying as he continued "That's not what I mean Kanda. I know you like her more than that. What has gotten into you? She is your student."

Kanda's eyes narrowed as he turned and stared at Allen for a moment and Allen thought for sure he was going to take his head off with Mugen. But the cold demeanor exorcist just answered sternly "I really don't think that's any of your business."

Figuring Kanda had his reasons for the way he felt and Allen was sure he would keep them in check because after all Kanda was a man of his duties so he let the subject drop.

Kanda on the other hand was sitting there thinking about the way he actually did feel about Rea. He wasn't sure what she did to him every time he got around her he found himself losing his ability to concentrate. When she touched him he felt tingles run through his whole body, and the way she smelled, he loved the floral scent of her hair as he stood behind her when they trained. Her blue eyes were as blue as a dark sapphires and he found that if he stared into them too long he would almost drowned in them. He didn't even want to start thinking about her body. That day he saw her naked was almost too much for him to bear, she was perfect. He began to shift in his seat because he had to quit thinking about that or he'd have another more embarrassing problem.

Just then Allen spoke bringing Kanda out of his thoughts of Rea "We're here!" He said excitedly while Kanda just moved his eyes to look out the window. He had to stop this. He had to stop thinking about her. The day he kissed her in the bathing room he had let every defense down that he had spent years building up. Around her he didn't feel the need to have walls up around him. She was so open and free and that's what attracted him to her he thought. She didn't care what other people thought and she had no problem reaching out and just grabbing hold of someone and telling them how she felt. As the train stopped he shook these thoughts off and put that cold demeanor back on as they exited the train. When they got back to the Order he would have to keep himself in control around her because he couldn't let himself get sucked into something he knew wasn't right.

Marie worked with Rea for a few days while Kanda was gone. He had worked her up to actually using a katana and he had to admit she was a fast learner. He couldn't wait for Kanda to get back today so he could show him her progress. She was using her ears to listen for the swipe of the sword not to mention Marie had taught her some more moves. He grinned to himself thinking he did it so she could use them on Kanda. He told her that when Kanda walked down the hall to jump out and swing on him. Rea didn't think that was a good idea due to the fact Kanda would see it as an attack and probably kill her. Marie reassured her as soon as Kanda saw it was her he wouldn't hurt her but he thought she needed to show him what she had learned and he would be there also to explain.

As Allen and an unsuspecting Kanda exited the boat and walked through the hall Allen turned and went one way while Kanda continued on his normal path. He wanted to check in on Rea as soon as possible. But when he turned the corner he heard a swing coming his way and he drew Mugen connecting with a sword as he stepped back and his eyes widened as he stared at her "REA?"

Marie then stepped out of the shadow "Ah Kanda I thought you might like to see what she has learned while you were away." Kanda stood there and stared at Marie then grunted "Hai I would" Marie pulled a piece of cloth out of his jacket "Well then I think you remember this?" Kanda stared at the cloth remembering he used to practice blindfolded "I do." He sighed as Marie walked over behind him "Then let's even the playing field." As he went to blindfold him Kanda stopped Marie by grabbing his hand "Are you sure about this Marie? I don't want to hurt her."

Rea just smirked "Aw come on Kanda it'll be fun. Let's say if I win you have to do whatever I want and if you win then you'll have to take care of me while I heal." Kanda smirked as he stared at her "Fighting is not for playing but looks like I'll be doing something either way doesn't it?" He then let go of Marie's hand "Alright then I agree to your terms."

Rea smiled widely as Kanda took his cloak off which revealed he had no shirt on and his chest was bandaged and handed it to Marie "Are you ready Rea?" He heard her say in a shaky voice "Yes."

Marie just smiled "Remember your training Rea and the moves I taught you."

Kanda walked forward holding Mugen out in front of him. It had been a while since he had fought this way so it took him a few seconds to become in tune with his surroundings by ear. He began to move around quietly moving each foot as he circled her. Rea could hear his light footsteps as she turned her head towards them. But Kanda wasn't going to use an easy method as he moved his foot backwards and began to backtrack in the opposite direction which confused Rea for a moment till she realized he's went the other way. Rea smiled slightly as she turned and raised her sword and swung hearing him behind her. But to her surprise he wasn't there so she spun around to listen again.

Kanda walked forward some and then raised Mugen and took a swing and as he did Rea heard it and blocked it. Both swords made a metal on metal sound as they hit and Rea realized she had just made first contact with Mugen.

Kanda smiled slightly as he continued his maneuvers and once he got within close range he pushed towards her again this time the swung on each other but Rea was a little slow on the come back and Kanda cut her arm as she winced. Kanda heard her and just asked firmly "Are you alright?"

She was a little perturbed at herself for getting cut as she answered firmly "Yes I'm fine." She decided that a straight forward attack would be the best way to go so she raised her sword and listened for his footsteps but for some reason she couldn't hear them. That was because Kanda was a skilled fighter but the harder she concentrated something happened in her eyes. It was like she wasn't blind anymore she could see his shape as he came towards her. She side stepped the attack and did a move Marie showed her as she twisted around on her foot but to her surprise Kanda flipped over her foot bringing Mugen down. Cutting her on her other forearm as she let out a slight cry due to this one being semi deep. Feeling her pulse rate intense she stared though her eyes and looked for the shadow and she found him on her right. Turning towards him she lunged forward only to have him jump in the air and flip over her. It was at that point she pivoted her foot and as he landed they engaged in a throwing of swings and blocks. He had to admit she was keeping up but he hadn't even broken a sweat yet not to mention he was holding back. After the few minutes of engagement they broke their space in between them and stepped back.

Kanda threw one last swing backwards and caught her arm again as she winced and he then stopped "Oi that is enough for now." He pulled the blindfold off to see blood running down both her arms. He looked to Marie as he walked over to Rea "You did well one of these days you'll be able to hold your own with him if you keep up the good work." Rea smiled then as Marie took her sword Kanda walked over and wrapped the cloth that was his blindfold around the deepest cut on her forearm. He then said coldly but not meaning it to sound that way "You have much more to learn." Marie gave him a strained look as Rea's face changed to a disappointed look.

Kanda wasn't one for praising people if they weren't at their best but as he looked at her he knew she had done her best so he added a "But you did very well for your first sparing match." Rea looked up and smiled but Kanda knew she wasn't ready for battle yet.

It was then she turned to him "Kanda I was able to see your shadow while we fought. I don't know why but the more I concentrated the more you came into focus as a shadow." His eyes widened some _'Could her innocence be growing?_' he thought as he finished tying the bandage. He would have to talk to Komui about this but for now he knew he had to hold up his end of the bargain.

"I guess I'm stuck taking care of you since I hurt you" Rea heard the lingering disappointment in his voice as she graciously smiled "No Kanda it's alright I can manage." God why did he always have to sound like an asshole? But then again that was his general nature. "No you go ahead I'm sure you're tired from your mission you go ahead and rest." But Kanda was a man of his word as he reached his hand out and took her arm "No a deal is a deal so come on." He said moving her to walk down the hall as she protested "Look Kanda you don't have too I'm fine really." It was then he stopped and turned to her said firmly "I put those injuries on you now I will make sure they are treated right." She heard the sternness of his voice and decided that it was no use to argue with him.

He made a short stop by the infirmary and grabbed some bandages and antiseptic. Then he led her back to her room where inside he proceeded to take the one bandage off and clean them up. While she sat on the bed and he knelt in front of her she could feel his tender touch on her skin as he cleaned the wounds and then bandaged them. When he was finished he looked up and saw the faraway look on her face "Oi what is it?" He asked as she slightly smiled.

"Oh it's nothing I was just thinking how warm you can be at times. But then other times you're so cold." He inhaled deeply as he stood and she thought she had offended him "K-Kanda I'm sorry."

He just stood there not knowing what to say, it seemed every time he got alone with her away from other people his whole attitude changed. He decided to change the subject "We must have Komui look at your eyes again if your able to make out shadows now." Rea realized that he had just passed over what she had said as she sighed and agreed "Alright if you think that is best."

He looked back at her and scrunched his face some, it seemed he didn't know how to talk to her at all. This once cold hearted person had actually let someone slip through his barriers and he was having a hard time managing it. His feelings and emotions were all over the place not to mention every time he thought about her his heart would skip a beat or speed up inside his chest. Now standing here alone with her in her room he really didn't know how to act in front of her.

She finally broke the long silence between them by getting up and walking towards him. Stopping in front of him she raised her hand to his face. Her other senses were picking up something from him but she couldn't put her finger on it. She felt he wanted to say more but he would stop himself before he did. As her hand touched his cheek he tensed up some and as she stood there she caressed his cheek "I know there is more to you than meets the eye Kanda. I wish you would open up to me. You're a hard person to get to know but I think I know you a little better than most. Around others you're so cold but when were alone like this you can be so warm and nice."

The feel of her hand comforted him as he closed his eyes but he was soon racked with the thoughts of her being his student. His eyes flew open as he grasped her shoulders and pushed her back some and there it was that cold demeanor again "I don't know what you're talking about. You need to get a hold of your own emotions Rea." And with that he let her go and walked past her leaving her standing there wondering just who the hell he was. He stopped and took one last look at her seeing the tears weld up in her eyes but he knew that there could never be anything between them.

She then turned and said in a stern confident voice "One day I will beat you Kanda and you will see just how strong I can be."

Turning his back to her he softly said "I know you're strong but you will have to train harder to beat me."

It was then she heard the door shut and she reached out and grabbed a vase and threw it at the door "How can you be so cold!"

Outside the door Kanda heard the vase hit the door and shatter as he closed it. He leaned against the door bringing his hand to his face and rubbed it downward. He had to be this way because if he wasn't she wouldn't train to her full potential and he didn't want her emotions holding her back. He figured if he got her pissed at him she would fight harder to try to beat him.

It was then Marie walked up "Kanda you look like you're having a hard time with this one."

Raising his head he shook it back and forth "No it's just some obstacles that have to be dealt with."

Marie smiled "Obstacles huh? It seems like more than just obstacles. It seems like there are feelings that have to be overcome." Marie listened for a moment to Kanda's heartbeat, it was beating hard and fast as he smiled "Ahh I see you like her."

Kanda turned and put on that cold demeanor of his again "Don't be ridiculous Marie" he said firmly and it was after that Kanda turned stormed off.

It was late and Kanda hadn't come to get Rea like he usually did for dinner. As she sat there she figured he was done with treating her like he had when they first met. She figured she would have to learn to get around on her own sooner or later so she got up and walked to the door. Upon opening it she heard all the noise coming from the whole Order. Her ears had become so in tune with everything around her thanks to Marie's training that she could now more or less get around by herself. Making her way to the cafeteria she went in and ordered her food and then took her tray and sat down to eat.

Allen walked over to sit with her "Hey Rea can I join you?"

She smiled slightly "Yes Allen you can." As Allen sat down he looked around the cafeteria "Hey where's Kanda? I haven't seen him since we got back." Rea's eyes widened at hearing that Kanda had been missing all day.

Her face had a stern look replying "I have no idea where Kanda could be. The last I know he was leaving my room after bandaging me up."

Allen heard the hurt in her voice as he slightly smiled "Did something happen between you two?"

Rea turned her head to hide her face some "No he was the same old rude Kanda when he left."

Allen could tell by the tone in her voice and her actions that something had happened so he just smiled and softly said "Kanda may be a hard person to get to know. But I know deep down that he's a good person and would never intentionally hurt someone he cared about." Then after he said it he corrected himself "Ooor maybe he would."

Allen's words rattled in her brain '_He would never hurt anyone intentionally that he cared about?' _She looked up and smiled "Thanks Allen after dinner I will have to go find him. Do you know where the best place to look would be?"

Allen grinned widely "Well you could try the meditation room. That's where he usually goes when something's bothering him." So she decided that she would go hunt down the cold demeanor exorcist after dinner and find out just what the hell was going on. She was confused she had thought after that kiss he placed on her in the bathing room that maybe just maybe he was starting to like her but lately his actions and words weren't exactly making sense to her. But then again he hadn't made sense to her from the day she met him. 


	8. Chapter 8

AN: Okay if anyone thinks Kanda is falling for her I hate to tell you but it's not love it's a physical attraction. He never tells her he loves her. And everyone knows you can have a physical attraction to someone and not be in love. But she is in love with him.

Secrets of my Heart chap.8

When Rea finished her dinner she decided to go look for Kanda to ask him why he hadn't eaten dinner. What she didn't know was Kanda was trying to avoid her right now. He wanted her to keep that hurt in her heart till the next time they fought. He knew she would be more prone to attack him if she seriously wanted to hurt him for hurting her. Although when she walked into the meditation room he knew he would have to put his cold demeanor into over drive. But what he wasn't expecting was his own reaction to her being hurt.

As she entered the room she leaned her head to the side to listen and she felt that someone was there "Kanda are you in here?" Kanda just sat still and answered a firm "Hai" then sighed heavily. She walked closer to him until she felt she was in front of him "I want to talk to you Kanda." He sighed heavily again as he answered coldly " Oi it seems that's all you want to do lately is talk to me Rea." Then his voice went completely cold "What is it?!"

She had a feeling he didn't want to talk to her anymore or be around her so she straightened her shoulders and huffed "Fine Kanda if you don't want me around anymore I can grant that for you." She then lowered her shoulders as he opened one eye to see the hurt on her face "I thought you were the one that would always be there. I thought you were the one who would never leave me."

Kanda sighed heavily "Oi Rea that's where you went wrong in your thinking. I am an exorcist I am not here to babysit you. I am here to train you and make sure you don't get yourself killed when you go out on a mission. You are my student and that's as far as it goes."

She swallowed back her tears and fought the urge to cry "But that day in the bathing room when you kissed me-"

He cut her off in mid-sentence "Hai that was a mistake." He felt sick to his stomach lying to her when he knew it wasn't the truth. His head lowered as she stood there motionless in front of him. He finally opened his eyes "Do you want anything else?" He asked in a stern voice.

She bite her lower lip as she got more pissed "Yes Kanda I want to fight you again. Right here and right now. I want to show you I'm no let down to you." He never meant for her to take it like she had let him down he just didn't want her getting to attached to him so she would grow in her training.

"Alright" He said as he stood up and walked over to a table where there was a piece of cloth. He picked it up and wrapped it around his eyes tying it in the back. With Mugen in hand he took a stance as she stood there for a moment.

"What's wrong?" He asked as she sighed "I don't have a sword right now." He sighed some "Go to your left there is one hanging on the wall."

She felt her way over to the wall and pulled the sword down then turned to face him. "I'm not going to be easy on you this time Rea."

She smirked as she walked forward "I wouldn't expect a teacher to go easy on his student Kanda." Just the way she said his name made his stomach tie in knots.

As they walked to the center of the room and faced each other Rea got more pissed and the more pissed she got she noticed her sight increased. Before she knew it they were engaged in a sword battle and she could block every swing he took at her. She could actually see him in her eyes but it was sort of a cloudy picture she was seeing. She matched him swing after swing and he finally lunged at her and she side stepped to his surprise and she got more pissed as she started speaking to him while engaged in battle with him "I don't understand you Kanda. I thought I could read you but I can't you're so COLD HEARTED!"

Kanda tried not to listen to her as he swung on her again hitting her arm as she cried out because he cut her deeply "Quit talking Rea and concentrate" he said coldly.

She knew he was trying to hurt her and she didn't understand why. So she continued as they fought and she blocked his swing the next time and now with swords clenched and locked together in hands they were face to face about a foot apart "I thought I was beginning to feel something for you. Which I was but you just brushed me off after making me think you felt something too."

It was then he pushed her backwards and she fell to the ground but she immediately got up and this time and she charged him "YOUR COMPLETELY HEARTLESS KANDA!" that hit him to the core and as she ran towards him he sidestepped and grabbed her shoulders turning her and pinning her to the wall. Pulling the blindfold down to where it was wrapped around his neck his body pressed against hers, she could feel his chest heaving as he yelled at her "THAT IS THE WAY I WANTED YOU TO FIGHT ME. I DIDN'T WANT YOU HAVING FEELINGS FOR ME!" His breath raced across her face in exhales as he then let her go and they both stood there.

She waited a moment before speaking "So you wanted me to hate you. You wanted me to attack you like an enemy?" He took a step back and turned to her feeling he had accomplished his goal "I wanted you to attack me and let your innocence grow. I did not want your feelings holding you back." She had had enough as she turned and softly said in a firm but shattered voice "Y-You know Kanda you really have a good way of making people hate you."

He saw the tears form in her eyes as she turned to walk away and without realizing it he reached out, grabbed her hand and pulled her back to him. Pushing her up against the wall by her shoulders again he moved his face into hers as he softly said with confusion in his voice "What is it you do to me? I lose all control of myself when I'm around you. I want to know what this feeling is I get when I'm around you?"

She turned her head to the side intensely breathing as she tried to answer "I don't know what feeling your feeling but I know the feeling I have when I'm with you." Turning her face back to his she slightly smiled "I love you Kanda. I have since I first started seeing you in my dreams even before I met you I have loved you."

Love…he had only felt that feeling once in his miserable life and now he had someone telling him that they loved him. He didn't know how to react but all he knew was she intrigued him as he raised his hand to her cheek lowering it slowly to grasp her chin slightly turning her head to the side. A feeling of desire spread through his body as he lowered his head and kissed her neck softly. Exhaling in a long deep breath she closed her eyes as his name escaped her lips in a whisper. He knew it wasn't love he felt but a sheer feeling of physical attraction but at that moment he didn't care as he pressed against her body fully with his. After he finished kissing her neck he turned her face back to his and looked into those big blue eyes of hers that couldn't look back at him then his gaze went to her lips. Waiting and wanting just there for his taking and he slowly moved his face to hers and captured them in one smooth action. His hand trailing down her neck ever so gently he waited till she slightly parted her lips then he invaded her mouth with his tongue. He had never experienced anything quite so moist and inviting. All the while his stomach was tied in knots as he breathed into her mouth and tried to break the kiss but her hand quickly raised to the back of his neck and kept him where he was.

The sheer feeling of him made her want him more but Kanda was about to lose complete control as he quickly stopped and whispered while breathing heavily "Oi we have to stop Rea. This is not right you're my student and I'm supposed to be teaching you."

Reaching her hand to his cheek she let it gently trail to the nape of his neck and she smiled softly "Then teach me Kanda." Then she pulled his head back to her lips which he couldn't resist at this point. But after a few more moments of ravishing her mouth he broke it again breathing heavily "No!….This isn't right" Then he stepped back and wiped his mouth.

Rea sucked her lower lip just to taste him once again and he thought he was going to lose it right then and there when she did that. But his self-control kicked in and he turned his gaze to the side.

She then pushed herself off the wall slowly "Alright Kanda you can't tell me you don't feel anything for me. Not after that."

He stood there breathing heavily and stared at her for a moment then he sighed "Hai your right. But I don't know what I feel right now." And he didn't, he knew It wasn't love but it was a physical attraction he had to her. That was all she wanted to know, all she wanted him to confess was that he felt something.

He walked forward again afraid if he touched her he wouldn't be able to stop himself this time "We need to bandage your arm. It's bleeding a lot." Holding her arm out she nodded "Then go ahead or are you afraid to touch me again Kanda?"

He inhaled heavily then took the blindfold from around his neck reached over and began bandaging her arm for her "It's a pretty deep cut I think you better go see the nurse in the infirmary."

Rea sighed some then she thought she better tell him "Kanda while we were fighting it seems the more upset I got I could actually see you." His eyes widened "You could actually see me while we were fighting?" She nodded and replied "Yes." He knew he would have to tell Komui about this.

After he finished wrapping her arm he held onto it for just a moment longer then he let it drop to her side. He took control of himself as he turned and walked to the door. What the hell was wrong with him? His life before he encountered her was so focused on one thing. Now he found himself thinking about all sorts of stupid crap. He had to get his head straight. Was he so out of touch with everything right now that this was just something that invaded his mind? He sighed heavily as he opened the door and stopped looking back over his shoulder. He was going to say something but instead he just walked out.

Kanda found Rea the next day practicing in the training room with Marie and she was doing very well in her swings and turns. Marie looked up and smiled at Kanda as Kanda scowled turning and then walking to the cafeteria to order some food. It seemed Rea had a new incentive to push her to her potential so what if it was just the thought of Kanda. He made her feel so alive inside and every time she was near him her heart would speed up beating heavily in her chest. After that first kiss she knew she had to have him, even if it would be her first time as long as it was with him. She saw that underneath that cold exterior there was heat and passion and she wanted to be the one to crack that shell of his.

A few more days had passed and Komui called her in to examine her eyes after Kanda explained what had taken place. As she sat on the table Komui checked her eyes "Well I see the film on your iris has become thinner." He stepped back and put his hand to his chin and stared at her "I really don't know what this means." Komui then decided it was time to test this innocence of hers as he told her to concentrate on Allen and bring him to her.

Rea sat there and did as Komui asked and in a few seconds a screaming wet toweled Allen was standing in front of them. He looked down and grasped his towel tightly as he then looked back up to Komui "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? I WAS JUST GETTING OUT OF THE SHOWER!" He yelled as Komui smiled and turned to Rea clapping his hands together "Very well done" He smiled widely as he whispered "Now can you put him back where he was?"

Rea got a concerned look "Well I've never tried returning anyone. But I'll try now." She said as Allen put his hands out in front of him waving them back and forth "N-NO WAIT YOU'VE NEVER DONE IT BEFOOORE" It was then Allen just slowly vanished and Komui smiled "Well I wonder if he's back in the bathing room or if you put him somewhere else?" shrugging his shoulder he just softly said "I guess we'll find out later." Rea's eyes widened thinking this man was a complete loon at the time.

Komui then turned to her thinking that if she could transport Allen then she should be able to go on missions. He thought for a moment then spoke freely "How is your training with Marie coming?" As luck would have it though Kanda had heard about Komui's little test because Allen had actually been transported back to the cafeteria due to Rea's thinking being clouded by thoughts of Kanda. So Allen had told Kanda and he stormed out of the cafeteria headed for the exam room that they were in. Just as Komui asked his question Kanda came barging through the door "Her training hasn't come that far yet Komui."

Komui jumped as the door hit the wall with a loud crash "Ahhh Kanda w-what are you doing here?" Kanda glared at him "The moyashi appeared in the cafeteria in a towel and told me what you were doing."

Komui sighed "He ended up in the cafeteria?" He then turned to Rea "Well you almost got him back to the bathing room." Rea scrunched her face some then softly replied "Well he went to where my mind was focused on. Kanda was in the cafeteria." Kanda turned his head to the side "Che" then a few seconds later he walked forward "Komui you see she needs more training focusing" he then added sternly "On something besides me."

Lifting his head and staring down at Komui Kanda realized that he wanted to send her out on a mission as soon as possible. Kanda knew she wasn't ready though so he shook his head "She will not be released from my training till I am sure she is ready. I will have someone work with her on her transporting though." He then reached out grabbing Rea's arm and pulled her off the table as he turned and she tried to keep up with him in the hall. He was walking so fast then he finally turned and she ran right into his chest. "S-Sorry Kanda."

Kanda very bluntly and sternly said "You have to separate your feelings from your job or you will die." Lowering her face she stood motionless knowing he was pissed as he scolded her like a child.

"You have no idea what you're up against out there. You haven't even got your full training down. Quit letting Komui make you do parlor tricks and get your head in the game. You're slacking off and this is not what I saw in you before. Maybe your feelings for me are clouding your judgment and that will get YOU KILLED!" Leaning into her face he grabbed her shoulders hard and she knew he meant what he said "Listen to me Rea I think maybe I should let Marie take over your training indefinitely because it seems like I'm just a distraction to you."

He then let her go as she leaned against the wall behind her. It was then she realized that he was pissed and she felt like a complete fool. She knew she had to get him out of her mind, thoughts of him always invaded her mind but it was time to show him that she could stand on her own two feet. So pushing herself off the wall she made a decision "Y-Your right Kanda. I have been engulfed in thoughts of you and it's not about my feelings for you it's about living to fight another day." Raising her hand she placed it on his cheek and softly said "I think maybe you should let Marie be the one to train me. It seems that when I'm around you I can't concentrate. So in order for me to learn to fight without you being there I think your right."

His fist clinched when she said that but he was also glad that she had agreed with what he said. He would make sure he was helping form behind the scenes but he knew this was the best decision if he was having this effect on her. He also had to admit to himself that not being around her all the time was going to have an effect on him he just wouldn't figure that out until weeks later.

After their little agreement Kanda had went on a few missions leaving Rea and her training in Marie's capable hands. Marie started working with her on her transporting skills also. Her innocence was growing and quickly. In just a few weeks she was able to now transport herself and three others to a different place. Not being around Kanda had opened her mind up but it was the late nights when she found herself thinking of him. It had been three weeks since the conversation in the hall and she wondered if she ever crossed his mind as much as he did hers?

On a mission with Allen deep in the heart of the forests that surrounded a small town engulfed in akuma Kanda found his mind wondering. He was lying in wait for some akuma when he found himself thinking of the girl he had once spent so much time with. The girl who depended on him to be her eyes and to protect her from all the bad things that invaded her mind. He sat there quietly and closed his eyes and envisioned her beautiful face he hadn't seen in weeks. That was his choice, he had tried to stay as busy as possible going on mission after mission. It was when he got back to the Order that was the hardest. The urge to go check on her had plagued him many times and he found himself watching secretly from the sidelines as she worked with Marie.

Shaking his head he opened his eyes slowly hearing something coming and as the akuma passed he found himself flying through the air slicing it in half. Landing on the ground in a crouched position he exhaled heavily as Allen came running up "Kanda there are three more coming." He had a job to do so pushing himself off the ground he stood up and shook his head _'Get your mind in the game' _he thought to himself. It was then he looked at Allen and nodded that he was ready and they both took off running towards the approaching akuma.


	9. Chapter 9

AN: WARNING: There is sex involved in this chapter so if you're not into that then I guess you should skip this chapter half way down! (There is my warning!)

Secrets of my Heart Chap.9

Kanda and Allen returned from their mission which had took about a week. While walking to his room he decided to stop by and just look in on Rea. But his plans were shortly interrupted by a yell and a swing.

Pulling Mugen quickly from it's sheathe he blocked the attack. It took him a minute to notice that it was Rea standing in front of him. But he didn't pay much attention to her as he turned his head to the side "Che."

Marie walked out swinging a blindfold in his hand "I'm sure you will be well pleased with her improvement this time Kanda." Putting Mugen to his side he nodded as Marie walked over behind him and tied the blindfold over his eyes whispering in Kanda's ear "I would be on your toes because she's learned a few new tricks."

Taking a few moments to prepare himself mentally Kanda then raised Mugen to his face and held the katana sideways. Breathing out slowly and trying to visualize his surroundings in his mind he then nodded as Marie gave the word "Alright fight."

Circling each other slowly in the hallway Kanda had to admit it was a tight space to fight in but he could easily tell where she was by the sounds and the air change in the hall. As he lunged for her the fight began it was _pivot, swing, turn, Pivot, swing, turn then a clash of the metal. Pivot, swing, turn then a clash of metal. _He had to admit she was holding her own better than he'd imagined as they continued this barrage of swings and turns with blocking.

Their fight was in full force when Rea pulled something on Kanda he never thought would be possible.

As he lunged at her she disappeared and appeared in back of him and as she went to swing on him his head turned and he ran for the wall running up it and flipping over her landing behind her in a crouched position. Turning his head to hear where her swing was going to come from she switched hands but his keen ear caught that and he blocked her. He stood slowly as she reared back again but before she swung she disappeared and appeared in back of him again. But instinct took over and he immediately flipped her over his shoulder as he landed on her feet. He smirked at that and had to admit she was getting better. He lunged for her as their swings and steps took them down the hall.

Swing after swing it was amazing as they ended up in the entrance of the Order which was a bigger space. Marie had taught her well and Kanda was amazed at how far her fighting skills had come in just a few weeks. She wasn't that helpless young girl he met a month ago she was a fighting exorcist now.

They ran at each other and their swords connected as they both were face to face and with a raise of his eyebrow he smirked "I have to admit you're doing very well."

She smirked back at him "You haven't seen nothing yet Kanda." Then she did a backflip and kicked his hand but he held onto Mugen and smiled widely.

He liked the thrill of a fight and he didn't know if it was because she intrigued him so much. She had changed a lot in the past few weeks, it was always her strength that attracted him to her and now she was filled with it and in his mind he wanted to conquer that strength with his own desire.

So following after her he swung on her again this time she dodged and he barely missed her arm which he usually could cut. But her reflexes were so much faster now and he liked that.

She dropped and did a spin kick from the ground which took him off balance but instead of falling he flipped and landed in a crouched position he then stood up as they both stood facing each other breathing heavily "Oi I think we are done." He said sternly as he pulled the blindfold down to get a better look at her standing there. His eyes widened at the outfit she had on "Mmm….Uhh…" was all he could get out staring at the skirt that hit right below her ass and the white shirt she was wearing was drenched in sweat showing just a little peek of what was underneath. Her hair in a slight ponytail right at the back of her head and she had heeled boots on. Starting at her feet his gaze went up her body and he felt every muscle in his body tighten at the thought of ripping those clothes off of her and having his way with her right then and there.

It was then he shook his head trying to focus back on the task at hand by turning his gaze away from her as she spoke "Well Kanda have I improved?"

He then took control of his hormones and turned back to her while sheathing Mugen back up "Hai you have improved very well." It was hard to talk to her while she was wearing that so he just turned "If you'll excuse me now I have to be somewhere" and he walked away. Leaving her there thinking she had done something wrong. That coldness of his attitude was enough to make her scream at times but she didn't know that he was having a hard time controlling his own emotions and his cold demeanor was the only way he knew how to cover them up.

As Kanda got to his room he shut the door quickly and walked to the bed and sat down placing his elbows on his knees he dropped his face into his hands. '_What the hell is wrong with me? Why am I letting her get to me like this?' _he thought running his hands down his face _' I don't know_ _what's gotten into me lately."_ Then he fell backwards on the bed staring at the ceiling. His thoughts were consumed with her and he didn't know how much longer he could be around her without letting his true feelings show.

Exhaling a loud "UHHHGHHH" he then sat up staring at the wall. He looked to the lotus flower he had in the hourglass vase. His frustration was building as he got up and figured a shower would be a good way to relieve some of this tension. He started gathering his stuff to go to the bathing room when there was a knock on his door. He groaned as he swung it open "WHAT?" and there in front of him stood Rea with a pissed off look on her face.

She crossed her arms over her chest and her foot began to tap slightly "Kanda I really am a little perturbed at you."

Looking at her standing there like that he snapped and before he even thought about it he grabbed her arm pulling her into his room as she let out a slight squeak. He shut the door and spun her around pushing her back against it as he leaned into her body. His breath was ragged as he leaned closer to her ear and whispered "You make me feel such emotions when I'm…near you." Then he leaned his face down and began kissing her neck coming back up to her ear only to whisper "I can't contain myself any longer around you." Then his hands began to wonder up her sides.

Her eyes widened as she stood there speechless at his words. "Uuuuhhh okaaay Kanda" she said in a shaky voice. But standing there feeling his lips on her neck she also gave into her own desires as she tilted her head down to bring her lips closer to his and she smiled slightly "What if I don't want you to contain yourself?"

He stood motionless for a few seconds then inhaled and exhaled heavily before smashing his lips into hers. His tongue invading her mouth in one smooth swift movement. As he pressed his body completely into hers giving her access to any part of him she wanted. He didn't know if this was the right thing to do but every inch of his being wanted her now. The kiss intensified as he they began to feel over each other's bodies. Her taking in every muscle and ripple on his chest as she stuck her hand up his shirt and he groaned into her mouth and she smiled slightly. His hand slide to her back then slowly down the center of it to her ass as he grasped one cheek in his hand pushing her more into him which made her whimper.

Reaching her hand up she pulled the string holding his hair in a ponytail and it fell cascading across his shoulders. Her tongue still gliding along his she ran her hand through his hair stopping at the bottom of his head as she reached her other hand behind his hips and pulled them more snuggly to hers.

Just then he bent slightly at the knees grabbing the back of both her thighs and lifting her. Turning he walked her over to the bed and put her on her feet next to it without ever breaking his kiss with her. It was then his hand went to the edge of her shirt as his finger moved under the fabric at her waist. Reaching her hands to his back she grabbed the hem of his shirt and began moving it up his body as he exhaled heavily into her mouth. When she got it to his shoulders he reached up with one hand, broke the kiss, pulled it over his head and dropped it to the floor before she even knew what happened. Then his lips were back on hers as he pulled her closer to him while she ran her hands up his chest over his shoulders then down his back. His mouth moved to her neck draping gentle soft kisses across it as she exhaled his name "K-Kaaanda" in a whisper.

His hands moved to the hem of her shirt as he started lifting it and her eyes widened realizing that this was the moment she had waited for this whole time. As he slowly moved it up her abdomen she wondered if he would be disappointed with her.

But as he lifted it above her breast he whispered softly "Beautiful" as she felt him bend slightly taking one firm tip in his mouth as she arched backwards as he caressed it with his tongue. She softly moaned out as he then broke his mouth tease of her breast and pulled her shirt over her head then he moved her to sit on the bed while gently pushing her backwards in a lying position. As she lay there shirtless she could only imagine what he was thinking. But she soon knew when his knee went between her legs moving then ever so slightly apart and she felt his hand trail up her leg to the hem of her skirt as his fingers moved about on her skin.

She didn't know what else to say except "Kanda be gently with me." She thought it sounded sort of corny but he then laid over her and pressed his lips slightly to hers and she could tell he smirked some.

"Hai I will be gentle with you" He whispered softly then pressed himself more to her. He knew this was probably the first time anyone had ever touched her like this so he was careful with his hands. She closed her eyes and imagined looking at him as he moved his fingers to her sweet spot. As he massaged her she arched her back and moaned in pleasure. He couldn't help himself he wanted her and he wanted her right here and now no matter what the cost later. She began to moan out loud as his massaging fingers did their work getting her ready for him. She moved her head from side to side slowly moaning as he reached into her with one finger and she could swear he touched her soul.

As his lips moved across her neck then down her chest she thought she was going to explode right in his hands. Moving her hands to his shoulders she began to feel her way down his chest as he lifted up and groaned out loud in a husky sigh. Following her own path down his abdomen her hands stopped at the top of his pants. He was still working his magic with his fingers when she cried out and released some of her precious nector with a beautiful gasp and he knew she was ready for him. Without any thought she began to tug at his pants some.

He reached down and pushed his pants down some as she helped her fumbling hands and shaking knees weren't very much help as she began to run her foot up his leg till her knee came to rest above his waist. He leaned down some and kissed her inner thigh which sent her into another state at that point. Her breathing became erotic as she tried to speak "K-Kanda P-Please!" He smirked some as he raised his head back to hers and whispered in her ear "Please what?" he said in a very seductive low voice as she tugged at his hips pulling them to hers "Love me Kanda and be my first. I don't care if it never happens again but I want you if just for one night." Reaching down he pushed his pants completely down and worked his way out of them then he came back up dragging his tongue across her inner thigh again. As he looked up at her "I plan on having you" he said sternly and in one swift jerk he ripped her panties from her body but she was in such a state of passion and desire she didn't care as he then finished his sentence "If only for a night."

Moving his way up her body he positioned himself and she could feel his hard manhood pressing against her leg. As she laid there waiting for it to enter her and as he lifted up and positioned it he began to push slowly inside her as she felt everything she had ever wanted was right there in that exact moment.

"K-Kaaanda" she let out in a little scream of passion as he moved slowly to gain entrance into her and she clawed at his back which only made him groan out in pleasure. As he finally was able to move smoothly inside her he felt her womanhood let loose and some blood spilled out that is when he knew she was truly his and he firmly told her "You are mine now." She didn't care all she ever wanted to be was his and she grabbed onto him as tightly as she could as he slowly sped the pace up. She began to relax as she started to move her hips with his and then they had a rhythmic motion going and he laid against her with his face buried in her neck. Her hair smelled of freshly cut flowers and he inhaled deeply as he continued.

Rea closed her eyes and wished she could see him in this beautiful moment as he leaned up and braced himself he looked at her eyes that were closed "Open your eyes Rea" He wanted to see those beautiful blue eyes even if they couldn't see him. It was at that moment she opened them they were a glowing blue.

She smiled softly at him as she raised her hands to each side of his face and cupped it "I-I can see you and your beautiful Kanda." Tears streamed from her eyes as she pulled his face to hers and kissed him softly. She saw the tattoo on his left shoulder as she traced it with her finger just as he grabbed onto her and picked the pace up. Leaning down burying his face back in her neck knowing that it was her innocence that was letting her see at that moment. She felt she was building to some dramatic end as she screamed out in pleasure and arched her back into him "AHHHHH KANDA!" he felt himself building to a climatic verge as he drove deeper into her and let everything he had go inside of her as she let herself go on him. He stopped and dropped slightly on her as she softly caressed his back and shoulders. After he convulsed a few times he lifted his head and raised his hand to her face moving her hair to the side. Then he lifted up and kissed her forehead then followed her face to her lips leaving soft kisses along the way.

Trying to catch their breath he stayed there completely still for a moment as they just held each other. Rea didn't want to break this beautiful connection they had just shared between them just yet.

Kanda after catching his breath pulled out slowly and then rolled off her and collapsed next to her. She rolled towards him as his arm wrapped around her and he held her close. Still trying to slow their breathing he turned his head to her "Oi I guess now you are not my student anymore." He said firmly.

Lifting up on her elbow she smiled down at him "I guess I'm not."

He lifted his hand up and caressed her face with the backside of his hand as he smirked remembering her father "Oi your father would kill me right now if he were here." She bit her lower lip at the mention of her father then laid her head on his shoulder "He wouldn't if he knew how much I truly cared for you." Kanda just turned his head to the side because he wanted to answer her with the words of his heart but there was one thing holding him back and that was that one person he needed to find.

Rea laid there with Kanda for a while and she thought he was asleep. She laid there and went over all the things that had happened in her life up till the day she met Kanda and she knew it was fate that had sent him to her. Now lying here with him feeling him breathing and giving herself to him she figured that nothing else mattered to her.

She was now an exorcist and their jobs were dangerous but she knew she had this moment right here to always look back on and remember even if this was the only time. Tiedol had explained to her about Alma and what sort of journey Kanda was on in his own mind. But right now Rea really didn't seem to care about that. She had just shared the most beautiful thing she would ever experience in her life and it was with him.

Lying there completely still she began to let her eyes droop till she felt him turn his head to look at her and he softly said "Oi don't go getting to comfortable I'm getting a second wind here." She pulled his face to hers smiling into the kiss as his whole body turned to her and he engulfed her in his arms. She never thought she could feel this way about anyone and even though Kanda was very cold she knew that deep within him burned a fire of passion, a passion that only she could bring out in him.

As he kissed her lips softly he thought back to that day she had fallen into his arms in her parent's store. But he never in his wildest dreams thought he would be lying her with her after just taking her innocence for himself. He had to admit that she had warmed her way into his heart and then captured it with her true strength and beauty. The cold hearted Kanda actually found he did have a heart and she had stolen it in just a few months. But there was still that feeling for the other person he had to find before he ever thought about staying with Rea. He felt sort of guilty for what had just transpired between them. He knew he could never fully give himself to anyone as long as that person was still out there.

Rea knew because he was quiet for a moment that something was bothering him so she twirled her finger in his hair "I know something's on your mind Kanda. You always get quiet and distant."

He sighed knowing he was going to have to explain it to her as he caressed he cheek with his hand "Hai there is something that I need to tell you Rea." He then was quiet for a moment but he knew it had to be said "I have to find someone before I can-."

She put her finger to his lips and stopped him from speaking "Ssshhhh Kanda I know all about the one person you need to find. Mr. Tiedoll told me and right now I just want it to be us. Just be with me for one night if that's all it can be. That is all I want is you for one night."

His eyes had a serene look in them as he leaned closer to her lips "Hai if only for one night then we better make the best of it." He then captured her lips again as they began their second round of love making. He then knew they would be alright especially if she knew about Alma. He didn't think Tiedoll would tell her about Alma but he guessed he was looking for both of them in that sense knowing how Kanda felt about the girl. But it still perturbed Kanda some that he had told her. He didn't think of anything else the rest of that night except getting as much of her as he possibly could.

Rea took full advantage of having him all to herself for that one spectacular evening they sent together. She knew as soon as they got up the next morning things would go back to the way they were. But for right now she was his and he was hers.


	10. Chapter 10

Secrets of my Heart Chap. 10

After their night of continual love making Kanda finally fell asleep about five o'clock in the morning. Rea laid there still as possible so she wouldn't wake him. After a few moments she finally sat up and then got out of bed and got dressed. After she dressed she sat back down gently on the bed and raised her hand to his face. Caressing it ever so gently as she whispered softly "My dear beautiful lover you are the only thing that is light in my world Kanda. I do love you but I know you have something to do. So I will give you the time and space to do that." She leaned down and kissed his cheek softly as her hand ran through his hair and he slightly moaned "Good luck with your searching my love and I will see you again someday." She whispered softly then stood up and walked to the door.

Shutting the door ever so softly she was met by Tiedoll in the hallway as he startled her "So are you ready to begin your training?"

She jumped slightly as she turned to face him "Uh, yes Master Tiedoll."

His face softened some seeing the room she exited from as he lowered his gaze and asked "Have you told him yet?"

She shook her head back and forth softly replying "No but he has something to concentrate on right now."

Tiedoll smiled slightly "You know he's going to be pissed when he finds out you've decided to become my student."

She turned to walk to her room as she stiffened he shoulders "If there is one thing Kanda has taught me it is to be strong and to never let anything hold me down." her head lowered "Not even him. He would never want me to sacrifice anything that would make me a better student. But right now I need to be trained by a General and he will understand that."

Tiedoll sighed slightly knowing full well that Kanda could train her as a general if he would just accept the title. But he knew his old student wasn't one for brandishing titles. So he softly smiled as he told her "You know Kanda could be a General if he wanted. But my stubborn student would rather stay an exorcist."

She reached for the doorknob to her room and smiled back at Tiedoll "I'm sure Kanda has his reasons for not wanting to take the title on. Now if you'll excuse me I want to change and then we can be on our way."

Nodding his head Tiedoll turned and over his shoulder replied "Marie and I will meet you in the entrance in fifteen minutes."

Then he walked down the hall as Rea opened the door to her room she felt like she was running out on Kanda but she knew he would understand that she wanted to pursue her training with someone like Marie who could train her to use her other senses. She just hoped that he would understand why she had done it. It wasn't because she didn't want to be around him, hell she would love to stay after last night. It was just she didn't think she could take what was to come next after last night. The pretending like it didn't happen and not talking about it. After all she was a woman and she had feelings so she thought her best way of dealing with it was to pursue her training. Then maybe down the line after Kanda finished his search he would know she was out there somewhere.

It was hours later when Kanda finally began to stir, he raised his arms above his head and stretched letting out a loud groan. It was then he realized he was alone, opening his eyes he searched the room. He was a little confused for a moment thinking maybe last night was a dream as he quickly sat up in bed with a confused look on his face.

Throwing the covers back he turned and placed his feet on the floor, with his elbows on his knees he dropped his head into his hands. Running his fingers through his hair he lifted his head to look around again and that's when he saw her underwear lying on the floor where he threw them after he ripped them from her body last night. He exhaled loudly as he leaned over and picked them up examining them. Then he looked back to his bed and there was the proof he needed that it wasn't a dream. It was the release of her womanhood on his sheets. Throwing his head back he sighed heavily "Kusooo" He was still trying to wake up as he blinked repeatedly as he looked back to the underwear in his hand and shook his head slowly dropping them to the floor again.

Scratching his head he stood up as he found his pants and put them on. He had only gotten a few hours' sleep and he wasn't really awake yet but he thought he should go talk to Rea and find out why she had left. After pulling his pants up he buttoned them and didn't even brush his hair as he opened his door, walked out and knocked on hers. But there was no answer as he called her name "Oi Rea." He stood there a moment then knocked again but nothing so he reached for the door knob and opened it. Walking in he looked around and saw all her stuff was gone. Now he was really confused as he turned and stormed out walking down the hall towards Komui's office. He wanted to know why her stuff was gone as he went down the hall he checked everywhere for her.

Allen was walking the opposite way when he caught sight of a distressed Kanda. He noticed Kanda only had his pants on and his hair was a complete mess falling from his head. He approached him cautiously "Uuuuh K-Kanda are you alright?"

Kanda turned as his hair flung through the air "No I'm not." He then stuck his face in Allen's and growled "Have you seen Rea?"

Allen stared at him for a moment seeing how distraught he was "Uh no I haven't but are you okay?" He motioned to Kanda's appearance with his hand "You look little out of sorts." Kanda turned his head to the side "Che." Then he pushed Allen back some as he took off walking towards Komui's office and Allen looked him over again and shook his head. _'Boy he seems a little crazy right now'_ Allen thought shaking his head and turning and continuing on his way to the cafeteria.

When Kanda got to Komui's office he stormed through the door startling Komui as he spun around getting a look at the disgruntle exorcist standing there "OH!" he looked Kanda up and down with a puzzled look "Kanda you look a little under dressed this morning."

Kanda stormed forward "Oi cut the crap Komui and tell me where she is?"

Komui pushed his glasses up on his nose walking over to Kanda "Now calm down" He said about to reach out but Kanda smacked his hand "DON'T tell me to calm down I want to know. Where. Is. Rea?"

Kanda's heart began to beat faster and his chest heaved up and down as he waited for Komui's answer and he got more perturbed as the scientist took his time answering him "Weeell Tiedoll took her on as a student."

"WHAT!" Kanda yelled in shock as he stood there staring at Komui. A puzzling look crossed Kanda's face as he brought his hand to his face and ran it down it exhaling heavily.

Komui smiled some as he walked forward "Tiedoll felt Rea needed more training with Marie so he approached her with the option of becoming his student to study with Marie."

Kanda sighed again "I see." Kanda then walked over and sat in the chair as he felt a little betrayed but more hurt that she hadn't said goodbye to him. But he didn't stay that way for long as he stood up and turned to Komui. Realizing that it was a good move on Tiedoll's part to take her as a student.

For a moment and felt a little lost in his thoughts as Komui looked at him because of the far off look on his face "Kanda are you alright."

Shaking his head slightly Kanda turned "Oi I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" He said as he started to walk out the door but Komui knew Kanda wasn't okay just by the way he was acting. He decided he would put it behind him as he walked to his room but he couldn't. She was in his thoughts no matter what he tried to think of. As he got to his room he shut the door, then walked over and sat on the edge of the bed. He just couldn't understand why she wouldn't say goodbye to him. His heart felt heavy and he had to admit it did hurt deep down inside. After last night he thought maybe just maybe he could find a way to work everything out with her. But now…now she was gone and he actually felt lonely.

He knew one day they would see each other again but for right now he hardened his heart back up because she had opened a part of it. Now he had to close that part because he felt a little vulnerable and he didn't like that feeling at all. As he glanced up to the Lotus flower he had in the hour glass case a pedal fell from it. The only conclusion he came to was he was hurt deeper than he wanted to admit.

He sat there in the quiet of his room for about an hour then he got up and stripped the bed. Wading the sheets up he sat them at the end of the bed while he found his brush, brushed his hair and put it in a ponytail. After that was finished he picked her underwear up and then grabbed the whole lot. Walking out the door he walked to the garbage can and threw everything in. Turning and sighing a heavy sigh he walked back to his room. Upon getting there he dressed then went to the cafeteria. Ordering his food he waited then took it to the table where he sat down and just stared at his soba. Placing his elbows on the table and interlocking his finger he rested his chin on his hands.

Lenalee turned and noticed Kanda just sitting there and she turned to Lavi and Allen "Uhh has anyone noticed Kanda's peculiar behavior?"

Allen looked back noticing Kanda just sitting there staring straight ahead "Well this morning he was walking around in just his pants, hair not brushed and nothing else on."

Lenalee got up and walked over to him "Uh Kanda are you okay?"

Kanda's eyes slowly gazed up at her "Hai I'm fine."

She sat next to him "Uh you don't look fine. You haven't even ate your soba."

He glanced down at the noodles in front of him "Hai I know." Then he stared straight again and she exhaled heavily "This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain blind girl would it?"

Turning quickly he stuck his face in hers and coldly said "No. I'm just not hungry right now." He then stood up and stormed out of the cafeteria. Lenalee looked back to Allen and Lavi and shrugged her shoulders.

Lavi was feeding his face when she got back to the table and with his mouth full he spit out "Did you guys hear that Rea left with Tiedoll and Marie this morning?" Lenalee and Allen's eyes both widened as they yelled "WHAT?"

He nodded "Yeah I heard Komui and Tiedoll talking. It is a bookman's job to know everything that goes on around here."

Lenale gasped as she stood up "Oh poor Kanda" then she ran after Kanda. As she ran through the halls she searched everywhere. Then she finally decided to look in the one place he would probably be. So she walked down the hall and turned right and opened the door to the garden.

Kanda sat thee staring at the flowers as she walked closer and then sat down next to him "You miss her don't you Kanda? Even though she hasn't been gone that long."

Kanda turned to Lenalee with a scowl on his face "I don't know what you mean."

Lenalee smiled "Come on Kanda I know you and you have a hurt look in your eyes. Not to mention you're quieter than usually. You haven't even insulted Lavi or Allen this morning" Her head lowered "Or for that matter not even me."

He sat there and stared at her for a moment then he lowered his head " Oi I just don't understand why she left without saying goodbye."

Lenalee smiled at him as she turned to face him "Did you ever think maybe it might have been too painful? Or maybe she thought you would get angry with her?" when she saw Kanda's eyes lower she knew that something else had happened "Kanda did something happen between you two?"

He shook his head slightly and didn't answer but she stuck her face over to look at his as he slowly looked at her. Her eyes widened seeing the guilty look on his face "Oh my god Kanda you slept with her!"

Kanda head quickly went up as he moved closer to Lenalee "Oi you can't tell anyone about this!"

She shook her head slowly "Kanda what were you thinking?"

Placing his elbows on his knees he dropped his head into his hands "Oi I wasn't exactly thinking at the time."

"It's alright Kanda I think I can explain now why she left like she did?" Lenalee smiled because being a girl herself she wouldn't want to hold Kanda back either.

Kanda then raised his head slowly "Hai please explain it to me then."

Lenalee smiled as she began to explain "Kanda you have your mind set on finding someone. If I were her I wouldn't want to wait around for you to find that person I would give you time to do just that. Maybe Rea figured if she went with General Tiedoll she could advance in her training and you could do what you have to do. I know I would have been uncomfortable if something like that had happened between us and then I had to walk around like it didn't."

Kanda raised his head and it made sense to him now as he nodded to Lenalee "Plus Kanda I would have never been able to say goodbye to you feeling what I felt after something like that."

He felt a little more confidant now that maybe she had made the right decision on not waiting till he woke up. He nodded his head slowly as he stood up and looked down at Lenalee "Oi you have grown up wise. Arigato. I feel better now."

Lenalee smiled at him "Come on I think my brother might have a new mission someone needs to check out. It'll be good for you to get out and kill something." She said with a smirk.

Kanda nodded as she stood up and they both walked to Komui's office where he informed Kanda about a mission he could go on. Komui could tell Rea's leaving had effected Kanda deeper than the exorcist was letting on so getting him back in the field was the best way to get his mind of it. He informed Kanda that he and Allen were going to be going on this mission.

(This is just a quick download through the manga to get to the end of it. Where the story picks up again. With Tiedoll and Kanda on the street where it ends after Kanda agreeing to be a General.)

When Allen and Kanda started their mission they didn't expect to find Timothy. The next few months for Kanda were trial after trial and he didn't have much time to think about Rea. The thirds were brought in and after that things got chaotic. It was mass chaos in the fighting and Kanda was then actually taken to awaken Alma. That's when he came face to face with the person he'd been searching for all these years. Road and Allen got drug into Kanda's mind as Allen watched everything that had happened to Kanda. During a fight with Alma Kanda stabbed Allen with Mugen and it made it worse for him with the Noah inside him being stabbed with innocence. Allen then used the ark to send Kanda and Alma away.

As Kanda sat there with Alma he watched Alma die so instead of living freely he decided to go back to the Order. But while he was gone all hell had broken lose. Bookman and Lavi were missing supposedly kidnapped by the Noah. Allen was somewhat out of his mind and was imprisoned for helping Kanda escape with Alma. The Thirds were on a murdering spree killing every akuma that moved.

While Allen was imprisoned Apocryphos came to him and a fight broke out between them. Allen escaped the Order and was on the run. Link was killed and Lenalee felt that she had picked the Order over Allen. While her and Marie sat talking on a bench some children were playing ball and it got away from them. When her and Marie were getting ready to leave she happened to glance over and there she saw Kanda. Kanda knew he could have been free from the Order because they thought he was dead but instead he decided to return. Marie turned to him and said "You Bastard why would you come back you were free."

Kanda just smiled at them then insulted Lenalee as he stared at her "I feel like you've become quite ugly. Your face is all blown up and swollen." Marie then grabbed onto Lenalee as she was going for Kanda screaming something at him as he walked off.

Kanda visited Master Zu who had been holding on to Mugen. Mugen then went back to its crystalline form so Kanda was going to eat it.

Lenalee went to stop him "WAIT KANDA YOU'VE BEEN BOUND TO THE ORDER FOR SO LONG! YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO GET AWAY AGAIN!" She lowered her head "Even though you were free." She said as she grabbed the crystalized form of Mugen in her hand.

Kanda reached up and took her hand and opened it. There was a liquid in her hand "Aaaaah it has liquefied now." He then put his lips to her hand and drank the liquid as Komui and Bak protested.

Kanda smiled at her "I'm already free. This time genuinely as Kanda Yuu I have decided to become an exorcist." As Kanda activated Mugen in front of everyone Master Zu told him he was the forceful Lotus himself.

Johnny one of the scientist from the Order that was friends with Allen decided he was going to find Allen. So he set off in search of Allen only to run into Kanda who had now left the Order with the same mission….to find Allen.

After their many disappointing leads and Johnny's following Crosses debt's to look for Allen. They finally ran into him and after a complete out of control moment they took him to a hotel to rest up. Kanda then found out Link was still alive.

Kanda was then captured by Apocryphos who knocked him out in the street. When Kanda awoke he realized that he had just touched pure innocence. By this time Tiedoll had caught up to him and he told Kanda in order for him to let his journey continue with Allen and Johnny he would have to agree to become a General which Kanda agreed to.

It had been eleven months that had passed since that night with Rea. Kanda had now gotten over that and put it behind him. Now he was ready to fully take on being a General.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Alright this is where I pick the story up after the manga stopped. I decided to do it this way because it fits the story line better. I also think this will be the last chapter let's call it a bonus chapter.

Secrets of my Heart chp.11

Just as Tiedoll was about to walk off he stopped and turned to his beautiful student as he got a serious look "Kanda I thought you should know." He lowered his gaze "Rea is dead."

Kanda's eyes widened "W-What!" He was in a state of shock for a moment and somewhat confused as he shook his head and walked forward grabbing Tiedoll by the front of the jacket and through gritted teeth "What the hell happened? You were supposed to be training her!"

Tiedoll lowered his gaze again "It was an akuma attack." Kanda didn't understand just how an akuma could have killed her "S-she could transport." He looked away slowly then his head quickly snapped back to look at Tiedoll "Just tell me what happened?!"

Tiedoll reached up and removed Kanda's hand from his jacket as he smiled slightly "There is something else and you might want to follow me. Let's just say she left something for you. I came to find you to deliver it."

Kanda looked around "Well what is it give it to me." Tiedoll started to walk off as he waved his hand over his shoulder "Come with me and I'll show you."

Kanda groaned at Tiedoll leading him on a goose chase thinking he could have given him the thing right where they were. He shook his head as he followed his master. It was then as they rounded the corner he saw Tiedoll walk into a hotel. _'What the hell is this?' _Kanda thought as he reluctantly followed him "Oi Come on I don't have all day. The moyashi is getting away."

Tiedoll proceeded up the stairs as Kanda followed behind him wishing he could just kill the man right now for dragging him her for something. As Tiedoll got to the room door he put his finger to his lips "Sssssh you have to be quiet."

Kanda just gave him a puzzled look and turned his head to the side "Che." It was then Tiedoll opened the door and they both walked in. Kanda looked around and noticed there was a woman sitting in a chair and he looked back to Tiedoll "What is this? You have brought me here for nothing!" Just then he heard a whimper that turned into a cry…a baby's cry. The woman got up and walked across the room to a crib that Kanda hadn't even noticed.

Tiedoll smiled slightly "I told you to be quiet" he said walking over by the woman then making baby goo goo noises to the baby in her arms. Looking up at Kanda he smiled slightly "This is what Rea left you Kanda. It is your daughter. I named her Kei."

Kanda completely froze in the spot he was in _'A baby?'_ he thought as he stood there and let it process for a moment then he sternly replied "I can't take care of a baby. I'm in the middle of a mission."

Tiedoll then walked slowly over to him "You wanted to know what happened to Rea. Well she lost her life protecting your daughter Kanda. After she gave birth we were then surrounded by akuma. She gave the baby to me and in her drained state she fought with every last bit of energy she had then one came up behind her and snapped her neck before she could transport."

Kanda stood there motionless for a moment thinking about how scared she must have been at that moment. He clinched his fist as he turned to Tiedoll "I have never even dealt with a baby before. I can't take her I don't know how to care for her."

Tiedoll sighed "Well Kanda you're going to have to because you're all this baby has."

The woman walked closer to Kanda and smiled slightly while she softly said "Well now I know where she gets her gorgeous skin color and facial features from. She is a beautiful baby I must say." As she held the baby up to Kanda so he could see her.

Kanda looked at his daughter and sighed, shaking his head he turned to Tiedoll and very coldly said "I cannot care for her." Then he turned and began to walk out the door as Tiedoll then yelled "WELL THEN KANDA I GUESS WE'LL JUST PUT HER IN AN ORPHANAGE" hoping that would stop his stubborn pupil. He knew Kei needed to be with Kanda and he hoped Kanda would take her. It would be good for Kanda he thought and after all this was his daughter.

Kanda stopped dead in his tracks and stood there a moment. He didn't know how to feel anything at this point but what he did know is he didn't want her going to an orphanage. As he stood there thoughts rushed through his head '_What are you doing? Keep walking. Why did I stop?' _Then more things flooded his mind_ 'I have_ _always wanted something to call my own. This is my flesh and blood. I-I never thought I could have children?' _he then began to remember all the things that happened to him when he was younger. The terror, the experiments, the pain. He then slowly turned back around and walked over to the woman and sternly said "She will not go to an orphanage." His gaze went to Tiedoll "H-How do I take her with me?"

Tiedoll smiled as he turned to the woman who handed him the baby. She then picked up a piece of cloth and walked up to Kanda "You have to put this around you."

He gave her a puzzling look "Oi Why?" giving him a strange look back she replied "Why to carry the baby of course."

Kanda sighed "Hai go ahead." She motioned to his jacket "You have to take that off" Kanda sighed as he removed his jacket and she placed it on him and did some twists and turns as he stood there and she stepped back "There." He felt utterly ridiculous with this thing on him as he looked down at it the turned his head "Che. I look like an idiot."

The woman then got the baby from Tiedoll and placed it in the papoose looking thing on Kanda's chest. Kanda looked down and shook his head "Oi I have no idea how to use this contraption." The woman explained that the cloth held the baby in place against him. She then handed him a bag "There are bottles in there along with diapers. You have to wash the diapers after each use. She needs to be feed every two to three hours. There is milk in there but warm it some, not too hot though."

Wanting to get on his way Kanda just waved his hand "Oi I got it…I got it." Then he gave Tiedoll a glare and turned and walked out with bag and baby in tow.

Tiedoll raised his hand to his head "Oh god what did I just do? I hope he can handle this."

Kanda walked out onto the street knowing full well with a baby strapped to him he couldn't very well go after the moyashi and Johnny so he inhaled deeply. The baby moved and he froze thinking maybe she was going to fall out of this odd ball contraption this woman had put on him. There was a slight chill in the air as he pulled his jacket around the baby.

A few hours later he found himself engulfed in a baby's screams wondering what the hell to do as he got a hotel room and then went up to the room. He took the baby out of the papoose looking thing and laid her on the huge bed as he stared at her.

"Oi are you hungry?" He remembered what the woman said about the bottle so he warmed the milk some and filled it. Then he gave it to the baby not knowing he had to hold it for her. So as it rolled off her he got some what frustrated "Oi I don't know how to do this!" He picked the baby up which looked like he'd never held a baby before and opened the door walking into the hallway.

At that moment there happened to be an old woman standing in the hallway and as she saw the way Kanda was holding the baby she screamed "OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING!" as she ran over and took the baby from him.

Kanda all of a sudden got angry at that point "Oi, what the hell are you doing!? She is mine give her back!"

The old woman smiled as she cooed at the baby then looked at Kanda "First time father?"

He reached up and scratched his head "Hai I have no clue what to do. She won't stop crying." The woman smiled as she felt Kei's diaper "She needs a change and she's probably hungry." Giving her a puzzling look "Oi, how do you know that?"

She smiled "I have five of my own dear" She motioned to the room "Come on I'll show you how to do this." Kanda looked around and figured he could use the help as he led the old woman into his room. The old woman took her shawl off and went to work as she showed Kanda how to change a diaper and then how to feed his daughter. She showed him how to wash out the diaper and hang it to dry. She even showed him how to hold Kei and as she feed her she looked at him "I don't mean to pry dear but where is her mother?"

Kanda's gaze lowered "She is dead." Kanda knew he wasn't much of the father type. As he watched this old woman with his daughter he tried to remember everything she told him and did. He had a lot to learn he thought but he would raise his daughter even if he wasn't the most loving father.

(Five years later)

Kanda was sleeping when Kei walked up to his bed and she tapped him on the forehead. He opened one eye and sternly asked "Oi Kei what is it?"

Kei was holding her teddy bear with her big blue eyes staring at him "Daddy I'm scared. There's a monster in my room."

Kanda leaned up on his elbow and stared at her "Oi Kei, I killed all the monster's before you went to bed." She knew that but she just wanted her father to love her more. He wasn't a very affectionate father and he didn't cuddle her the way she wished he would.

Kanda was trying to do his best as a father and over the years his daughter had actually opened his heart up to where he was able to feel love. As he stared at her standing there he sighed slightly as he pulled the covers back and patted next to him "Oi this is the only time alright?" She smiled brightly as she jumped up on the bed and scooted down next to him as he covered her up. She knew it wasn't the only time because he said the same thing the night before.

As Kanda awoke the next morning he opened one eye slowly feeling something on his face. He knew what it was as he smirked slightly reaching up and picking Kei's foot up off his cheek. She always ended up turned to the end of the bed and he wondered how the hell she did that. But he sat her foot down and threw the covers over her as he took his brush and began to brush his hair. It was then he felt the bed move "Daddy you have such pretty hair can I brush it?" He smiled handing her the brush as she brushed his hair for him. This was their morning routine as she finished he pointed to between his knees "Oi, Now you."

She crawled off the bed and walked over and stood between his knees as he brushed her hair and put it in a ponytail. Reaching over to the nightstand he picked up a piece of string and tied it in her hair. She turned to him and smiled as he pointed to her room "Clothes now young lady!" She nodded and ran to the room. As he got up and dressed putting his hair in a ponytail.

Walking to the cafeteria she always held his hand and skipped trying to keep up with his steps from his long strides. As they got to the window Jerry hung out it "Ooooh my look at you this morning my beauty! Aren't you just precious Kei. Now what will it be this morning for you?" She looked up to Kanda as he shrugged his shoulders at her and she scowled some "SOOOBA" she said happily. Jerry looked at Kanda "You too?" Kanda just nodded as they went to a table.

If there was one thing Kanda had to say about Rea it was that she gave him the greatest thing he could ever ask for. Even though they only spent one night together it was a night he would never forget. He had gotten something that no one could take from him and that was his daughter. Someone that he could love and that would love him back unconditionally even with his moods. Although he wasn't a very touchy feely dad Kei loved him more than anything. Kanda had opened his heart up to her but it wasn't as open as a fathers heart should be. He still had a hard time showing his love to his daughter or even being affectionate towards her.

Lavi came over to the table where they were sitting "AHHHHH! Hello my lovely Kei" She smiled up at him "Uncle LAVIIII!" she yelled giving him a big hug as he smiled down at her "Are you ready for hide and seek soon?" Kei looked at Kanda who nodded that she could play. He had some things to talk to Komui about so her playing with Lavi would help out.

Lavi smiled "I'll get you when you're done eating alright?" Kanda turned to Lavi "Baka Usagi keep a good eye on her." Kanda didn't like the idea of Kei roaming around the Order so they had made a special place to play in that was designated.

Lavi smiled nervously "I always do Yu" Kanda scowled and gritted his teeth "Don't call me that!"

After breakfast he let Kei go with Lavi because they would always play hide and seek. Kanda went to Komui's office and they were discussing some things when about a half hour later Lavi came running through the door frantic.

"YUUUU I CAN'T FIND KEI! I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE IN HER NORMAL PLACES!"

Kanda jumped up "WHAT! WHERE WERE YOU LAST PLAYING?!" Then he grabbed Lavi by the front of the shirt and snarled "I TOLD YOU TO WATCH HER!"

Lavi groveled an "I'm Soorry" as everyone even Komui took off to find her. When they got to the designated play area Kanda frantically ran around "KEI...KEI WHERE ARE YOU?" He had never felt so scared in all his life. His heart was beating fast and hard in his chest and he was freaking out at this point till a small voice called out to him from above "D-Daddy help I'm scared. Its way too high."

Kanda's gaze went up to see his daughter perched on a beam that was close to the ceiling.

"OI DON"T MOVE!" He had never felt anything like this, it was sheer panic rushing through his body thinking she could fall at any time if she tried to move "Kei don't move I'm coming." Kanda looked around wildly to see if there was a way for him to get up there quickly. He saw another beam below that one as he took his jacket off. He ran for the wall running up it then flipped to the lower beam landing on it then he jumped from there to the one she was on. She wanted to go to him but he saw her about to move "NO! Kei don't move I will come to you."

Just then Komui and everyone else threw a rope up and Kanda caught it tying it to the beam. Then he made his way to his daughter and picked her up "Oi hold onto my neck as tight as you can." She did as her father asked and he climbed down the rope with her. As he got to the ground he took her arms from his neck and sat her on the ground. Bending down in front of her he was so scared he just grabbed her and hugged her tightly. Something he had never done as he held onto her he asked "Oi, why did you go up there?"

She pointed to the beam "I was following the lady with blonde hair daddy." Kanda was confused because there was no way for her to climb up there as he leaned her back "No Kei how did you get up there?"

She smiled softly "The lady told me to close my eyes and when I opened them I was up there." Just then she pointed to the beam "There she is daddy."

Kanda's gaze went to the beam and he saw Rea standing on it although she wasn't exactly a human form and he thought he was seeing a ghost. Everyone else looked up but didn't see anything and Rea smiled as she looked down at him and said "Your heart is now open Kanda. You know how much you love her so love her dearly and cherish her always." Then she was gone as Kanda blinked his eyes.

He knew then what Rea had meant then it took something as frightening as almost losing his daughter to open his heart completely up to her. He looked back to Kei and hugged her "Oi, You are the secrets of my heart" he whispered as he picked her up cradling her in his arms as he started to walk out. He knew then he was able to show her the love a father could show his daughter by showing her affection. From that day forward Kanda made it a point to hug his daughter and cuddle her as much as he could. He would talk with her and explain things like gardening and then he began to teach her how to use a sword just like he had taught her mother.

Kei grew up feeling loved and cherished by her father and she never doubted his love for her from that day. Kanda had always thought he could never show love but his daughter captured his heart that day and she never let it go. She taught him as he taught her and together they were inseparable.


End file.
